Peter Parker x Reader

3 - feeling something

You didn't really understand yourself lately. You'd have weird thoughts and you'd feel so hopeless that no amount of socializing and smiling helped. There wasn't really a reason for it, you just felt out of yourself. But as the months went on and on with still the same habit of self-isolation and not being able to sleep from exhaustion, (yes, that was a thing), you realized that something was wrong and that it was serious. You didn't feel motivated to do anything anymore. Not even writing, like you used to do, whenever you felt bad, or just... Felt something. You haven't really been feeling anything lately. But, nonetheless, you had to go to school every day, and tire yourself even more from trying to pretend that you were fine. And you knew that it sounded like every single teenage chic flick if you ever said it out loud, that you were smiling on the outside to hide the inside, but it was truly how you felt.

As you dragged your feet, forcing them to take you to school, you fiddled with your headphones and finally put them in your eyes. Closing your eyes for a second trying to feel something, before being too afraid to leave yourself in the darkness of your closed lids. Your backpack was quite heavy today, and so the second you unlocked your locker, you threw all of your books in there, trying to wrap your head around which ones to bring with you. Not even knowing which day it was, you looked down at your timetable and let out a huge sigh mixed with a groan, realizing that you really didn't want to be there. Not at all. But at the end of your sigh, you hear a chuckle behind you, so close to you that you literally could smell the cologne of whoever was stalking you. You turn angrily around, to find a slightly taller, brunette boy, whose skin almost glowed in innocence. Still frowning you asked: "What?". "Oh, crap sorry," a light and soft voice left the lips of the boy, as his eyes and body literally swam in nervousness.

He wasn't used to being so straight forward and approach someone he didn't know. Nevertheless, he saw this girl struggling, and was curious. A chuckle was the wrong move, the boy quickly thought, thinking about what to say next, realizing that he had totally misunderstood the situation.

"I wasn't-, sorry, I-, ugh." the boy struggled, almost choking on his words, trying to come up with something, while you watched, in secret enjoyment, but raising your eyebrows at him and almost mocking his choking in words. "Okay, then" you finally said and pushed the boy a little to get through. The boy didn't really seem to offer anything other than widened eyes and raised eyebrows, in addition to his hands in multiple apologetic and nervous movements, and you actually felt a little bad for getting mad, and decided to let it go, to move on with your day, before he grabbed your arm. "I'm really sorry," the boy said in such a relief that it almost sounded as confidence, "I just saw you, uh, having a little hard time with your books, and I wanted to jump in. I really didn't mean to be rude.". As he let go of your arm, you finally turn around to look at him. "Why-, I mean, don't you have better things to do, than to look for girls whose days you can save?" you ask quietly, almost tearing up for no reason, not actually wanting to sound rude, but unfortunately you did. It wasn't like you actually were mad, but with not a moment of silence in your head, a constant rage and war in your brain, words would just slip out of your mouth."I'm really sorry," he repeated, sighing in desperation, "and no, I don't usually do this. You'd know that if you knew my interests and my friend group." he finished on a lighter note, pointing at a little bigger boy standing on the opposite side of the hall, obviously watching you and the brown haired boy, and waving in excitement, once pointed out. You cracked a faint smile as you lowered your face to the ground, trying to hide the amusement of the situation. "Thanks" you finally said, realizing that there was no point in being rude anymore, and not smiling back. "For what?" the boy asked in a chuckle, and in obvious nervousness, moving around so much that his brown curls danced faintly. "For making me feel something" you answered honestly and widened your smile, as you realized that this was true. The boy was obviously confused, but quickly brushed off the comment, and returned the smile, before saying: "I'm Peter, by the way.". "Y/n" you answered, shaking Peter's hand. Feeling his hand. Feeling something.