MD 1: Ways of Goodbye

Prologue

"Oh! Nandiyan na pala si Dico!"

I turned my attention to someone walking towards us. He's holding his key and he's twirling it around with his finger.

"Dico! Alliyah is here!" she said.

Pakiramdam ko ay nagkaroon ng karera sa dibdib ko dahil bumilis ang pagtibok nito. Nawala ang kaniyang ngisi at naninimbang na ang tingin niya sa akin ngayon. My eyes dropped on his muscles.

He was wearing a black polo and I was sure I saw that in one of Calvin Klein's magazines. His aura became more authoritative. I just noticed that his shoulder became broader and his biceps bigger. I really missed him.

"Bumisita siya para magbigay ng gift sayo. I invited her actually." sabi ni Ate Diane paglapit pa lang nito. I smiled at him when he sudden looked at me.

Mas lalo akong kinabahan.

"Can you leave us first, Ate? I just want to talk to her." He said. Wala akong mahimigan sa tono ng boses niya. Ate Diane seemed to notice the tension between me and her brother. She looked at us both before she finally said goodbye.

The air in the place suddenly became heavy.

"How are you?" I asked him. Palihim akong bumuga ng hangin bago ko siya tuluyang hinarap.

Nasaan na yung tapang mo, Alliyah?

"I'm doing good. How about you?"

"Maayos rin naman, nga pala sorry at biglaan lang rin yung pagpunta ko rito. Kanina lang kasi ako tinext ng Ate mo kaya medyo late ako nakarating."

I squeezed my bag as if that could help me to gain strength. Hindi ko matagalan ang titig niya, pakiramdam ko kasi sobrang dami kong kasalanan sa kaniya na kailangan kong ipaliwanag.

"Hindi ko tinanong." He said then he chuckled.

He nodded. "Kidding, it's okay atleast you are here. Hindi rin naman kasi kita inimbitahan, ewan ko ba kay Ate."

He scratched his nape and averted my gaze. Mas lalo akong nahiya! We don't have any connections, it's add to the fact na never kaming nagkausap after we broke up.

"Sinong kasama mong pumunta rito?"

"W-Wala, ako lang." sagot ko, tumango naman siya.

I noticed that he was still holding the key on his finger then he put it in his pocket. Nawala doon ang atensyon ko nang tumikhim siya at nagsalita.

"Thank you for the gift, Alliyah. It's really nice to see you again." aniya.

Biglang naglaho ang ngiti ko dahil sa salitang binitawan niya. Alliyah. I felt guilty of what I did years ago. I left him clueless that's why he acted like this. I let out a soft sob. This is what you want Alliyah, damn! This is really happening right now so stop complaining!

He's still the man I know. He's the standard, he is walking Green flag. Lahat ng gusto ng isang babae sa lalaki ay nasa kanya na siguro. Since I met him, I haven't looked for anyone else. He set the standard so high, kaya sobrang nanghinayang ako. Mahirap para sa'kin na ibalik kung anong meron kami noon. Ang dami na kasing nangyari at hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula at kung paano ko aayusin.

It's my fault in the first place, that's why I'm still guilty. I can't move on, sobrang hirap. Kaya siguro ako naluluha ngayon dahil mabait pa rin siya sa'kin pagkatapos nang nangyari.

"Alli!"

Natauhan lang ako nang marinig ang boses ni Tita Darlene. Mahigit tatlong taon na rin simula nung hindi ko siya nakita. Kahit gano'n, wala pa rin namang nagbago sakanya, maganda pa rin ito at nanatiling hindi kulubot ang balat.