One Month

The realising

King woke up with Ram's face inches away from his. He jumped back, panicking, but regretted it instantly as his headache skyrocketed to a new level, due to his sudden movement. He groaned unconsciously and held onto his head.

"I'm never going to drink again", He whispered to himself.

"Here", He saw a disheveled Ram with messy hair offering him a glass of water and a tablet, probably for his hangover.

He quickly took it and sighed. He tried to remember what happened the night before that resulted in him waking up in Ram's bed.

Before he could focus and remember what happened, he felt bed dipping next to him as Ram sat down, still keeping a safe distance between them.

"You look bad. Rest a bit more while I make you something to eat and then you can leave", Ram said getting up and leaving to prepare the breakfast.

King stared at Ram's back till he disappeared into the kitchen.

Suddenly he got flashes of himself, hugging Ram, telling him he loved him, dancing with him and worst of all kissing the junior. Slowly and inevitably, he remembered the whole conversation with Ram and he sighed.

King was mad at himself for letting his guard down. He felt suffocated now and just wanted to get out of the warmth of the all too familiar room. He didn't like the way he slept peacefully after so many days in a room that he now considered a restricted territory for himself.

He picked up his jeans and wore it unceremoniously turning to leave, when he came face to face with Ram. He eyes shifted to the plate of freshly prepared pancakes Ram was holding. He smelled the aroma he loved so much and almost wanted to take a bite but he stepped back. It was too familiar, too personal and his heart was not ready for this yet.

He tried to move past Ram but the junior abruptly stepped infront of him and as their bodies crashed together, the plate Ram was holding, fell out of his hands and broke with a loud crash startling the two boys.

"You can't give me, us, another chance?", Ram broke the silence and King met his eyes only to find the said junior already looking at him.

"I can't", King whispered and it's only the second thing he said to Ram after the
incident.

Ram looked like he would start to cry any moment now and King wasn't so fine himself.

"You hate me that much?", Ram asked.

"How can I hate you?", King whispered softly.

"The way you loved me", Ram added and moved out of King's way.

King didn't leave though. He saw how Ram leaned on the nearest wall, as if it was too tiring for him to stand anymore, to keep trying anymore. It was as if he was stepping back and letting King go.

Ram slided down and sat down, still leaning on the wall. King wanted to leave but his feets stayed glued to the place.

"You can go P', I'll be fine", Ram whispered looking down at the floor and not meeting King's eyes.

King immediately glanced back at Ram when he heard *P'*. Ram has never used that for him before. It was too formal, felt too distant.

Ram was afraid that he would end up hurting King again if he kept going on the path he has chosen for himself.

He was willing to step back if his presence made the senior uncomfortable. He didn't like the way King stepped back whenever he was near so it was his turn to let him go and wait.