// ❝ 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝖾 ❞ シ // ✔︎

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖥𝗂𝗏𝖾

"Dazai, what are you reading?"

I heard Atsushi asked when I looked up from my laying position on his thigh. He played with my hair as he stared in front of him at particularly nothing. My legs hung off the small box that could barely fit Atsushi on.

"Probably some suicide book."

At that, Atsushi turned his head towards the Dazai, his eyes looking at the cover of the book. His face twisted into disappointment as he starts to turn his face down towards me.

His face turns red as our eyes met, probably remembering that small kiss shared between us. He never admits his emotions unlike a certain someone.

"Stop being lovey-dovey over there." I heard the certain someone say as I looked at him from the same position on Atsushi's thigh. "Weren't you reading that book even when we worked together? What makes you keep reading it?"

He stared at me as he kept his book open.

"A good book is always good," he stared daggers into me, "no matter how many times you've read it."

I sighed softly, it's a suicide book, what could be in there that's good?

"So i-is the tiger actually gonna show up?" I can tell Atsushi felt the tension between us as he tried to break it with his words. I mumble a small 'yes,' before Dazai could say anything.

"Even if it does show up though, it's no match for me." Dazai stated nonchalantly as he continued reading his suicide book. I know his ability's really cool and all, but the confidence's a bit much.

"You're quite confident." Both me and Atsushi say at the same time as I stared up in awe at him as he did the same to me. I laughed lightly as I sat up and messed with his kid-like hair.

"I'm kind-of jealous," Atsushi whispers, "they called me a good-for-nothing all the time at the orphanage as far back as I can remem—"

I interrupted him as I pulled him into a hug. "It's okay, don't think of that." I whispered to him as he gripped the back of my shirt slightly. I felt him nod slightly into my shirt.

"Oh how it is to be young and in love." I rolled my eyes again, why is he here again? "Says the one who falls for any woman he sees." He glares at me with that same confusing emotion I couldn't decipher. Before he could say something though, there was a loud crash behind me and Atsushi.

He visibly flinches back, and hard, to the point where he falls out of my grasp and on the floor. I reach out my hand towards him, but then I realized the graze of the white moonlight through the clear windows. I flinch my hand back as Atsushi begins freaking out at Dazai.

I heard a very audible loud slam as the echo of Dazai's book reverb all around us against the metal walls.

"Calm down Atsushi. Tigers don't show up at places like this." Dazai stated calmly as he stared at the younger male.

"How do you know that for sure, Dazai?!" Atsushi started freaking out as he turned terrified. I felt bad, yes, but he had to find out sooner or later.

"Shut up Atsushi," he looked over to me in disbelief, "It's okay, just listen to Dazai." I tried to comfort him in a firm, but caring way.

All Dazai's words blended into one giant blob as I stared at Atsushi. I hated how he looked when he was freaking out. He shook as he tried to listen to suicidal maniac's words, all I wanted to do was run over to him and hug him. I knew I had to keep back though. He had to learn about everything eventually.

If Dazai told him, I never had to.

I had to resist the urge to run to him so many times as I stared at his writhing body on the floor. I've seen this scene so many times before, that it hurt. His skinny, frail body that I always wanted to protect laid on the ground in front of the moonlit window.