Secrets Come With lies

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Manhattan, New York City

One Month Later...

"Zoey still needs you," Carrie Foster said.

I closed my eyes, as I held my phone slightly away from my ear. I stood up and paced around my room. This was going to be hard.

"I'm preparing to get a full-time job. I've waited long enough," I said with full honesty.

"You understand my predicament right, Leah? She'll be devastated when she learns that you're not coming over anymore."

I sighed, cradling the phone between my ear and shoulder as I pulled my sneakers on. "Can I take her out for some ice-cream this afternoon? I'll try my best to explain things to her and then we'll be right back."

"Of course. I'll get Zoey ready. Thank you so much, Leah. You're an absolute star," Carrie said, before ending the call.

I sat down on the edge of my bed and placed my face into my palms. I was tired physically and emotionally and my head felt like it was about to explode.

I took deep breaths, slowly inhaling and exhaling and that is when the doorbell went off.

"Leah!" Aunt Jean called. "You have a visitor."

A visitor at- I looked down at my wristwatch- 11 a.m.?

"Coming!" I yelled.

As I pulled on my sneakers and windbreaker, there was a tap on my door and I looked up in time to see Nick slipping in before closing the door behind him.

Oh crap.

"Sorry for just barging in," he apologised.

I gave him a small smile. "It's fine. How are you?"

Nick sat down next to me at the edge of my bed. "I'm doing good."

I knew he was lying though. His eyes had dark circles around them and they were bloodshot as if he'd been crying. Just the thought of it made me want to hold him and comfort him, but for some reason, I wanted to keep some distance between us.

"That's good to hear," I said.

"What about you?" Nick asked.

I shrugged. "I'm okay. I'm just taking it one day at a time, hoping that everything will be better soon."

"It will be," he said assuringly.

We sat in silence, staring at the ground. I began knotting my fingers with each other nervously, but Nick grabbed my hands and got down on his knees before me so that I was forced to look at him.

"I missed you, Leah. I've been missing you a lot recently and I know that this is going way too fast, but I like you," he said.

His dark green eyes were sincere and hopeful. "I'm hoping that you like me too, but you don't have to say anything. Just don't push me away."

"I'm not pushing you away," I said.

It was a lie and I knew that was exactly what I was doing; I was pushing him away.

Nick slipped his hands against my face and brought me down closer towards him, towards his mouth.

"I have to be somewhere, Nick," I blurted out.

He opened his eyes and stared at me for a few seconds, before nodding and releasing me. He stood up and went over to the door.

"Can I see you tomorrow? Maybe I can take you out for dinner," he said, his green eyes bright with hope.

I could see how hard he was trying and I felt like a bitch, yet it also all felt wrong to be with him somehow. But I couldn't tell him that.

"Yeah, sure. That'll be great."

"Thanks," he said, before leaving my room.

Sighing, I grabbed my satchel, before I felt like crawling back into bed. I needed to move on. I remembered what it was like when I lost my parents. Every memory was engraved in me, like a deep scar and now with Dylan gone, the wound felt as if it was ripped open once again.

Aunt Jean was going to be running some errands, which also meant that she'd be seeing Eric too, so I decided to go out and get Zoey for our day out.

We got our favourite strawberry gelato before doing some window shopping. There was a clear chill in the air as we strolled passed a Macy's store to admire all the clothes.

Zoey didn't know what was going on. She just thought that I was taking her out for the afternoon and it sucked that I was going to be the one that had to tell her what was going on. With everything going on, I didn't need this added stress.

"So, you know, Zoe, I don't think I'm going to be around for a while," I said
slowly so that she could understand me.

She was like a little doll today, dressed up in her green tights and Frozen Elsa top. "Are you going for a vacatation?" she asked.

I smiled as she trotted in front of me.
"Vacation," I corrected her. "And yeah, something like that."

Her green eyes were saucer-large as she looked up at me."So when will you come back to me?"

My heart fell and I stopped walking and bent down so that I could be face to face with Zoey. Her baby cheeks were already pink from the cold.

"I'm not coming back," I said. "I have to work and do other stuff now."

Tears shimmered in her eyes as she took in what I said. Her mouth went upside down. "What do you mean you're not coming back?"

Oh, this was going to be harder than I thought.

After I explain to Zoey that I'm not coming back for good, she has an epic meltdown, refusing to finish the gelato that she claims I bought to bribe her.

When I leave her at home, she's in tears and Carrie thanks me for breaking the news to Zoey, but all it does is leave me feeling devastated.

I do what I have to do and just walk away. If only I knew how messed up this year was going to be. Everything was just going against me. How much more could I possibly endure.