Lose You to Love Me

//8//

Penelope took pride in her family, and the home her parents had created. That's why anyone she had ever brought into their home were people she knew would stick around long enough to respect her family the way they deserved. Hell, it had been a year before she had allowed Hope over, and that girl had never even given her a reason to distrust her. Hope had earned her place in their home, and now she was pretty much a member of their family, which was fortunate for Hope since the girl had been slowly losing hers since her father left. As for Josie, however? Well, Josie was a wild card. Having the brunette girl inside of her house was a weird experience, and Penelope almost wished that Josie had refused like she expected her to. Why she had ever offered she was unsure; All she knew is that when Josette showed up on her doorstep, she didn't want the girl to go. Now, they were in this awkward situation, Josie studying Penelope's room, an unreadable expression on her face. Penelope bit her lip nervously between her teeth, leaning against the desk, giving Josie a minute to take in her surroundings. Penelope didn't know why but Josie's judgment was important to her, and she was afraid of the reaction that the girl would have to her living space. She silently cursed herself for the mess of Pens, pencils, and paper on her desks. She groaned inwardly at the unmade bed, the clothes on the floor. If her mother was home, she'd be mortified that Penelope had even let Josie into her room with such a mess. If it was Hope, or MG, or anyone else, she really wouldn't care. This, however, was Josie- and to Penelope, for some unknown reason, Josie's opinion mattered.

"You were a cute kid.", Josie commented, and Penelope refocused her attention on her guest. "Oh, thank you. I mean, I don't think so, but-" "How can you not think so?", Josie interrupted without meaning to. "You were honestly super adorable." "I bet you were too.", Penelope tried to reciprocate, but Josie scoffed at the idea. She set the picture frame down again, turning away from the bookshelf she was facing. "No, Lizzie was the cute one; Everyone thought so. I swear to god, she's been obsessed with being the center of attention since our birth." "That must be pretty hard on you.", Penelope commented, and Josie gave her a "deer in headlights" expression. "I mean, I can't imagine that it's easy growing up with someone always fighting for attention with you." Josie swallowed hard, shrugging slightly. "I'm used to it, really. My parents love us differently, but not any less or more than each other. Lizzie's always just needed them more than I did." She joined Penelope on the bed, keeping a healthy distance between them. "It wasn't all bad. When we were little it was almost like we were the same person. She was my best friend, and no matter what happened, at the very least I could count on her." Sensing that the subject was started to bother Josie, Penelope changed it. "I always wished I'd had siblings- at least one, you know.", Penelope admitted. "My parents always told me they were happy with just me, though, so they never tried for another kid." "Me and my sister were my parents' miracle children.", Josie explained, bringing her knees up to her chest. "My mom and dad tried for years for kids, spent thousands of dollars on treatments and shots and all that shit. As soon as they stopped trying, my mom got pregnant with us." Josie chuckled to herself, smiling slightly. "Isn't it funny how the world fucks with us sometimes?" Penelope laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "I don't know, I think everything happens for a reason. Obviously they were meant to be parents if you and Lizzie came anyway."

Josie sighed, moving to lie down next to Penelope. "I don't know, do you really believe in all that destiny bullshit?" Penelope shrugged. "I don't know about destiny, per se. I do believe that everything has a purpose, though. A lesson, a story to tell. I mean, that's what I tell myself when I think about my dad.", she said, the last part coming out more shaky than she had intended. She took a deep breath, letting it go slowly. "If I didn't have faith in that, I don't think I'd be able to survive without him here." Josie reached out blindly next to her, and Penelope gladly took Josie's hand into her own. She couldn't help noting how easily their fingers wove together, how perfect their hands fit against one another. "Do you write to him?", Josie asked curiously, her gaze focused on the paint on Penelope's ceiling. "I can, but I don't know. I feel like if I write to him then I have to stop being mad at him for choosing the army over us. Like if I talk to him then that means I'm okay with it." "You don't ever have to be okay with it, Penelope.", Josie assured her, and Penelope's heart skipped a beat at the airy way Josie said her name. "You can be pissed at him and love him too, you know. Even if it's just a few sentences, even if it's just to make you feel better. I don't know, it might make him feel not as far away." Penelope thought over Josie's words, but before she had a chance to even say something back, the door opened and Josie abruptly pulled away.

When Hope entered the room, she looked from Penelope, then to Josie, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "Am I walking in on something?", she asked curiously, and both the girl's opposed her implication feverently. Josie stood from the bed, putting her shoes back on. "Uh...I should go anyway. My dad has this thing about me and Lizzie being home for dinner. Bye, Pen." With a quick wave to Hope, Josie was out of the house before Penelope could even ask her to stay. Hope smirked at her friend, who groaned outwardly. "She's a cute one. Where'd you find her?", Hope asked, and Penelope gave her a pointed look. Hope caught on quickly. "Oooh, is that the mysterious Gemini twin? Josie, is it? Damn, you already got her in your bedroom, Pen? That's progress, I guess." Penelope threw the pillow at her best friend, and Hope laughed, confused, and slightly amused at her sudden aggression.

"What? Was it something I said?"