𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

7

tw: gay slurs and arguing

Cody continued down the hallway with a stutter in his steps before reaching his bedroom. He looked into the room as if he hadn't seen it before and analyzed it as a whole, he decided it was nice. Cody didn't know why he decided to do that, but he did. The short blonde flopped onto his bed cringing at the loud creaks of the frame of it and laid with his face buried in the pillows. He laid and thought. Thought about his mother, the look on Jamie's face after he left, his sister, his father- Cody sat upright in a rigid motion. His father wasn't home.

"No, he promised, not again, please tell me he didn't break it." Cody whispered to himself.

The tears came again before he could even try to stop them. With the hot tears came the body wracking sobs, and heavy breathing. He didn't think he could handle his dad breaking this promise again, not again. He kept repeating things to himself half of which came out in shattered fragments of words. With every shake of his shoulders he could feel the beating of his heart speeding up, his knuckles were turning white as he gripped his own arms wishing for the embrace of his best friend. 

Thinking about him only made things worse as he thought about how he had no chance with him. Jamie in his perfect blue sweater with his perfect skin and perfect hair, perfect for Cody well almost. It was such a small detail, their chemistry was there it was just missing one side of attraction. Cody put his head in his hands and grabbed his hair. Then the doorbell rang.

Cody didn't stop crying, he didn't even flinch, he was too scared that it was his dad coming home wasted to move. It wasn't until he heard his door open that he tried to stop crying, through the blur of his tears he saw a large splotch of blue and tan. Cody gasped knowing it was Jamie.

Jamie made a small noise almost like a squeak before rushing to Cody's side.

"I came to apologize, are you okay you've been acting really weird today."

Cody remained silent not wanting to spill everything onto Jamie. 

Jamie grabbed Cody's shoulders softly and forced him to look at him, "You can talk to me."

Cody sighed, Jamie's voice was sickly sweet like honey, so smooth and thick, Cody, even in this moment of distress and vulnerability couldn't help but wonder if Jamie's lips were as sweet as his voice. He heard Jamie through the cloud of his daydreams and snapped out of his perverted thoughts.

"I don't know if I can J." Cody said softly his voice coming out much softer because of the crying.

"I saw your mom, is she a part of it?" Jamie asked carefully.

"mhm."

Cody didn't like talking about Miranda it felt wrong, she held no importance in his life except for his issues, and paranoia. 

"Can you call her Miranda instead of my mom, it bothers me because she doesn't deserve the title?" Cody asked feeling stupid.

"Oh- yeah sure."

Cody thanked him and stopped talking. Jamie and him ended up hugging and inevitably falling asleep after the emotionally exhausting day.

~

"CODY!" 

Cody woke up to Miranda's shrill voice ringing in his room, he winced and rubbed his eyes. He realized he was laying on Jamie's chest and then realized what it looked like.

"MIRAN- MOM calm down." Cody snapped back.

"NO, I REFUSE TO RAISE A GAY SON."

Jamie was now glancing around tiredly, Cody leaned down and whispered that he should leave. Jamie looked confused but left anyways shooting Cody one last nervous glance before walking past Cody's fuming mother. When Cody heard the front door shut he turned to face Miranda.

"Stop." Cody said.

"NO. NO. YOU STOP. I DON'T WANT TO RAISE A FAGGOT."

The word stung, Cody hadn't had to face it before since he wasn't out to anyone but his father, it felt like he had been slapped.

"You didn't raise me so you don't have to worry about it." Cody said calmly. If there was one thing that he had learned it was that being calm when adults yell at you it pisses them off.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"You know exactly what I mean, I'm literally not ten anymore I know you aren't out on work trips if you were we would not be struggling financially. You're just out sleeping around with your sugar daddies." Cody glared.

"You don't know what you're talking about." she hissed suddenly quiet, her cheeks flushed.

"Actually, I do. That bright lipstick isn't covering for anything. Also you literally don't even care. You just sent my best friend away because you thought we were dating."

"YOU PROBABLY ARE."

"NO. We aren't."

"Well. Are you queer?" Miranda whispered.

"...yes..." Cody felt like he knew where this was going.

"GET OUT."

"W-what?"

That was not what he was expecting.

"I said get out, you have 5 minutes to grab your shit and get out of here we don't support faggots in this house. It's against the will of god."

"And sleeping with so many different men that you can't even manage to come home isn't? Cheating on your husband isn't? Leaving your actual family to go fuck old white men is? God approves of all of that?"

"You're at 4 minutes, if you're here still when my phone goes off I'm calling the cops."

Miranda left the room leaving Cody to sit and think. The tears hit about two seconds later when he realized what was happening. He couldn't think straight what would he even need to grab? 

The boy began darting around the room stuffing random clothes and chargers, his laptop, photos, books, everything he could see was going into the duffel bag, backpack, and suitcase. He didn't want to leave anything in case Miranda was serious about not letting him come back. He began dragging his shit out of his room, before he closed the door he looked over his bare looking room and began sobbing. He hated being alive in that moment.

As he dragged his stuff down the hallway his little sister poked her head out of the door looking curious. 

"Cody, where are you going?" She asked sadly.

"I have to leave hun."

"No, no, no, no, you don't please stay, no." 

She ran up to him and hugged him tightly her tears soaking his hoodie. He bent down and wrapped her into a hug, possibly one of the last ones she would get for awhile.

"I'm sorry, I'll be at Jamie's you know how to get there if you want to see me, I love you so much."

"Then stay." she said angrily.

"I can't, I'm so sorry, I will come back for you I promise. Don't give up. Remember there is always sunlight some where you just have to look through the thickest clouds to find it sometimes.

Cody felt his stomach drop as he heard his sister break into hysterical sobs when he turned the corner, each cry hurt him like a dagger driving it's way into his heart. As he walked by his parents' bedroom his father walked out and stopped in his tracks when he saw Cody with bags looking disheveled. 

"Son, what are you doing?"

"Miranda is forcing me to leave because I'm gay." Cody deadpanned.

"No, wait no- come on I'll talk to her."

"Pops, it's okay, I'm going to Jamie's for now. I love you."

Cody hugged his dad tightly, his dad hugged him ever tighter as if to say 'I love you too'. 

As Cody left the front door he felt his mouth quirk up as he realized his dad smelled like fresh spearmint without a hint of alcohol.

He kept his promise.