REFLECTION OF GUILT

Because I love him so much

Chapter 6| Because I love him so much

"Oh..hi mom!"

Jaemin snaps out into reality when he saw his mom enters the room with a warm smile.

He returns the sweet smile again and moves slowly for his mom to sit beside him on the soft mattress.

"Jaeminnie how are you feeling?"

She gently caresses the big, round stomach that Jaemin has covered up with large, fluffy tunic to loosely make his own comfort. Regardless, he looks so adorable even while pregnant. A few pounds seem to gain thanks to his craving for sweet desserts but Renjun has been scolding (nicely) him because Jaemin always asked for sweet food.

Yangyang and Renjun even bickered one day just to stop Jaemin from finishing a whole chocolate cake. Yangyang wanted his friend to finish up because he thought Jaemin deserved it whereas Renjun worried about his health. Coughing would be so much of a struggle for Jaemin but luckily he didn't end up being sick or anything of that sort.

"My back ached sometimes but I am fine with everything." He smiles to make his mom not to worry.

He doesn't want anyone to be worried about him. Jaemin really praises his parents for understanding him to the maximum level. He expected them not to really take care of him too well when he stubbornly decided to carry this baby without Jeno.

They tried to understand him even though Jaemin knew how upset they were about this.

"Your dad and I were talking about this Jaeminnie" she starts to bring up the main concern as she gets comfortable with the pace. "About the father of this child"

Jaemin's smile slightly fades to the mention of the specific person.

"Your father thinks that it's only right to let the man knows about this. We will protect this baby and you from him but it's just that we think he needs to know about this as well Jaemin.."

Jaemin bites his lower lip and shifts his eyes away. To be honest, this isn't the first time they have a conversation about this and Jaemin still disagree to do so.

Without his permission, his parents are hesitant to do as well. They can force him and easily get an unsatisfied 'yes' but Jaemin appreciates the fact that his parents aren't like that.

A soft touch on his palm makes him looks up. It feels so at ease to have a mother who gently takes care of you.
Without a word, she slowly hugs him and makes him head to reat on her shoulder, one hand patting his fluffy hair.

"Jaemin-ah, your dad was the happiest when I announced him that I had myself a job. You know that he is always a supportive type of person. He almost fainted when I first told him about a baby in my stomach, which was you. He didn't have a word to describe his feeling at the moment. He cried." She chuckles a bit, reminiscing on the good old days.

"I know that we don't share the same situation Jaemin. We know that this is an unplanned pregnancy. But..do you really think Jeno won't be the happiest man just even for seconds of his life to be the father of your baby? I will always protect you and your baby from anything but as a parent myself,...I would want to see my child too.."

She hears some small sobs coming from her son. Jaemin wells up tears and he lossely let them down due to the comfort.

Of course, he wants him to know.
In fact, he craves for Jeno's attention.
There have been times when he doubtfully thinks Jeno would actually want him back if he let him know about their baby. These thought left as quickly as they came.