REFLECTION OF GUILT

This Baby Mine Now (END)

Final Chapter|This Baby Mine Now

As the days drifted into nights and the nights' stars dimmed back into bright morning lights, vibrant of colors for love evolved into soft rays of delicacy. The thickness of the coldest heart melted and willingly knelt down in front of the warmest light but it was too bright that the heart shielded for the potential softness of the flares.

What was it? Why was the feeling so beautiful? It was too addictive for him to leave.

Why was it too fragile for the hearts to seal back? Why was it so close but so far to reach out for?

Jeno did not know the answer. He indeed tried to understand it. But the fragile heart of his new found love was being so protective of himself just in case Jeno would hurt him again.

The yearning feeling overpowered but alongside with it, for the very first time, he reflected on the times where that very same warm light was trying to embrace him. That same light that tried to complete him in any possible way, even if it had to enter the dullest part of the darkness. The severity of pain and tears that went ignored and yet, no one was there for the comfort. The sincerity of the feelings that he knowingly looked down and insulted on. He regretted it all.

As Haechan said before, now that he recalled, regretting wasn't all. He needed to renew this. He needed to let Jaemin to know about his true feelings—the feelings he always tried to hide under a facade. To do so, an interval of time was needed. Impatience may consume the last straw of chance and Jeno didn't have the courage to lose him again.

Truth to be told, Jeno admitted he was being too unreasonable for Jaemin to be able to instantly adapt to his changes. Jaemin wasn't used to with his behaviors, careful words, soft touches and broken eyes. As much as he hated to accept it, those suspicious eyes still hurt him though this had nothing to compare with the pain Jaemin had dealt with.

"Here is your water, Jae"

His emotionless eyes remained unbothered as they glued up to the hospital's ceiling and Jeno silently sighed. Regardless, he pushed the glass closer to Jaemin's reach in case the distance would be far away.

"Do you need anything else ?"

Jeno unintentionally gulped after asking since the trembling on his nerves got much more severe from being ignored. Jaemin didn't reply. Even though Jeno needed to be used to with the silent treatment, he was struggling with it. He knew he deserved this but at the same time, he couldn't handle this. It was unfair how Jaemin had to deal with this abusive "relationship" with him but here he was, slowing pulling up a white flag to the pain.

Shrugging off the thoughts that got heavier every second, Jeno took a seat beside the white bed. He saw a slight movement of reaction from Jaemin's eyes but that was it.

"Jaemin ah, tonight is the last night at the hospital and tomorrow, I will take you back okay?"

Jeno picked up Jaemin's hand slowly and caressed it with his thumb as he spoke quietly. Jaemin wasn't reacting to him. It bothered him that he was like an invisible person for Jaemin.

"Please don't be angry for forcing you to come back with me. I want to take care of you and our baby."

A soft kiss was planted on the top of his palm and Jaemin flinched, almost withdrawing his hand out of Jeno's grip. The man pulled back gently, disapproving to dismiss the warmth of the soft hand.

"Please, Nana?"

The gorgeous beads met his eyes for the shortest second but Jeno felt like he was completed that very moment from a glimpse of attention he received from Jaemin. He loved it. He loved everything about it.