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Gerald: Pens

John: Pencils

Duncan: Coins

Defender: Pebbles

Jose: Broomstick handle

Michael: Fishing rod handle

Texas: Umbrella handle

Zumwalt: Toothbrush handle

Virginia: Hockey stick handle

Enterprise: Fingers

Wales: Small glass jars

Illustrious: Test tubes

Hood: Screwdriver handle

Unicorn: Stiff cocks

Hornet: Cigars

Warspite: Banana

Author: OBJECTS THAT I'VE SHOVED UP MY ARSE

(Everyone looks at Author Awkwardly)

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