in too deep | brightwin

one

and there he went, looking like his best as always. sir bright entered the room with his usual slicked back hair, white button-down shirt, and pants. he's so simple, but ever since that freshmen orientation when he presented himself as the program coordinator for college of economics, i've never set my eyes on any other man ever again -- and that was three years ago.

today was the beginning of my last year in college, and i'd already planned doing what i did best: look at sir bright from afar and just ogle at the way he turns around when he starts writing on the whiteboard or the look on his face you've passed his subject or the high-fives he gives his students after we get to answer his question right. just those things i'd secretly done the past years, no big deal.

i would always take his classes even if some of it wouldn't add much to my college credentials and i'd also gone to seminars where he was a speaker. i just did things impulsively for the sake of getting to look at him or hear his voice.

i was sitting beside AJ whom i've been classmates with from other subjects we've had, but even if we weren't classmates in some subjects, we kept in touch. he was the only person i could call a friend mainly because we're condominium neighbors.

"did you bring some pens? i forgot mine," AJ told me as soon as i opened my sling bag and i pursed my lips in return.

"seriously, AJ. it's the start of the semester, we're in our last year in college, and that's the first thing you ask me."

"uh-huh. what else would i ask you then? did you bang a girl during vacation? nah, i doubt that. you know why? because you're timid and no girl would fuck a guy who can't even say a word in front of a girl."

or maybe it's because i don't fancy girls the way you do, the words in my head. i smacked him at the back of his head, and realized that it's true. no girl would ever want me, but hopefully one man would. i sheepishly smiled at the thought.

"like you ever did, man."

AJ just smirked at me as he raised his index finger. at first, i didn't get what he meant. but when he wiggled his index finger and screamed without a sound coming from his mouth, i got to understand what he meant by it.

"you fucked someone? really?" i asked him, my eyes wide open but i kept my voice low. we were in the middle row, and sir bright was still busy working with his laptop so i started to think that he wouldn't really get to hear me.

"uh-huh, shy bloom."

i frowned, "stop calling me that."

"what? you're like that plant in plants vs zombies. shy bloom," and he chuckled.

"anyway, i hope you asked for the girl's consent before you had sex with her."

"of course! that's written as my top-most priority, win. i know my notes."

it's funny how he would take notes about this specific matter more than he cared about our subjects. i laughed at the thought, but i wouldn't say that to him.

"and what's the second most priority on your memo?"

AJ wigglee his eyebrows at me and brushes his chin as if he's got some beard when there's none at all.

"make her come, shy bloom. that's like the rule: she comes first. i did my research, be proud of me." and i only pat his shoulder as if i was actually proud. i was about to tell him he's such a lazy student when i heard sir bright clearing his throat, and -- was this real?

my eyes flickered and i felt my throat dry. he was looking at me. he was really looking at me. i wanted to ask AJ if he saw the same, but then he'd ask me why i looked so happy then i'd get busted. that's a big no. so i bit my tongue and waited for his next action.

sir bright walked toward me, and i swore everything felt like it's in slow motion. i couldn't even remember how many times i gulped my saliva in anticipation. i tried to keep myself calm and collected, but despite the many times i'd seen him inside the classroom and been in the same room as him, this was the first time he had ever looked at me.

i put my hand under my table when he set his foot just a few inches away from me, fumbling with it as i calmed my nerves. but sir bright didn't speak. instead, he placed a paper on my table -- a visit on his office, that's all i got to understand as i read. and i didn't know why but i was more excited than afraid.