If This Is How It Ends [FIN]

01

#ITIHIEnds01

Ilang beses kong tinignan ang phone ko para isync sa smart watch ko ang schedule ko para bukas. Wala na akong gagawin kasi nagawa ko naman na lahat nung summer. Tanging pagaayos na lamang talaga ng alarms ang nakaschedule na gagawin ko ngayong araw kaya din siguro inulit ulit ko ito. It's a waste of time to continuously checking them out but I already exhausted every tasks I planned for myself today and since di pa ako dinadalaw ng antok, I have no choice.

Tomorrow marks the first day of my last year in college at Northwestern University. I am prepared for this my whole life. Ever since I was a kid, I vowed myself na dito ako papasok because of the prestige it brings. Almost every topnotchers in the CPA licensure exam graduated from this school. And when I was accepted for the program, I was ecstatic. It was my dream school. I didn't care sa mga rumors na cut throat maintaining grades, difficult qualifying exams, and overly competitive environment because I know that I was born for those. If that university wasn't the top university, then it wasn't for me.

That's why I planned my life ahead. I started planning at five years old even if the concept of planning was still vague to me. I planned my play dates, my television schedule, my nap, my snacks and meal times, my bath schedule, my studying schedule on which even at five years old, occupies a large amount of the pie. Planning eased my way to grade school. I graduated with all the awards you can think of and that's when my parent thinks I'm a protégée, a child genius. And I considered myself as that.

Come high school, still, I planned everything ahead. I was accepted at an academy and offered me a full time scholarship. My parents can easily get me in and out of prestigious schools because they are well of and I am the only child so they can basically spoil me if they want too. But I do not want that. I wanted big things and I also wanted that I'll be the one giving myself the big things. High school was just another play ground for me. I easily graduated as the top student. It was an easy feat. No one came close.

Now, I'm already on my last year in college. I'm too close in getting my license. Naeexcite na ako. Kung pwede lang talagang pagsabay-sabayin ang mga subjects para mas bumilis, ginawa ko na. But Northwestern University does it differently. Because of the qualifying exams every year, di ka pwedeng mauna o mahuli sa curriculum. Ang lahat ng bumagsak sa qualifying exams ay alis na sa program, it's either they take other course, or just continue but hanggang fourth year lang. Usually at a university with qualifying exams, homegrown yung mga students but here in Northwestern, they allow bridging programs. Yung mga lumilipat from other universities on their fifth year provided that they'll have to pass a difficult entrance exam. A lot of students said that it was really hard for you to pass that entrance exam kaya parang wala na rin naman daw effect yung inooffer na bridging program ng NU. Well, a university had to do its job. I think okay lang yon since the more concentrated and controlled ang group, the more chances na 100% ang passing rate for that univeristy, which is an automatic ego boost for the university.

"Anka, here's your milk." Itinabi ko na ang phone ko sa bedside table ko and humarap sa mommy ko. My mom does this everyday, walang palya. And she does this at exactly 9:45pm. She was never late or early, laging sakto, just the way I like it. Come to think of it, baka namana ko sa kanya yung pagiging organized ko and the need to plan all the time.

"Always right on the dot, Mommy." I smiled at mom. I got all my features from my mom. We have the same jet black hair, pale white skin, small nose, brown eyes and tall genes. But my mom, she's softer. She literally looks like an angel. As for me, I didn't inherit that vibe from her. I'm more on the tough side, my father's side.

"Ready for your school tomorrow?" She softly asked while tucking me to sleep.

"I've been ready for this my whole life, Mommy."