A Love Story That Never Started

LAST GOODBYE

I remember we talked about going to Japan and living there someday.

We both liked anime and it's one of the things that brought us close back then.

Through out my highschool years a lot has tried to court me. I even flirted a little. But I couldn't fall in love or even like them back.

My heart just wouldn't start beating like it did before.
I was in touch with the other sections and I easily find out stuffs about him.

He never courted anyone.
Yes he's close to some girls and was shipped to some but he never courted anyone.

I tried approaching him at times but it all my attempts failed. I still wanted to talk to him. He was my best friend after all.

It was the second quarter of my third year when he started noticing me again.

But I was to messed up to even notice or care.
I lost all interest regarding him and other stuffs. I slowly lost all my friends.

My heart felt miserable and numb.
I hated everything and everyone.
My mom became alcoholic because of my dad. She was abusive and this time, I have no one to save me from sadness. Only myself.

I still see him at times. Buying foods and drinks. He would look at the 20 pieces of candy I would always buy.

One time I was feeling like hell. I was buying candies when he talked to me.
He asked me for some and I ignored him. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to graduate and start a life away from shit.

At times I would walk in the rain. To lazy to get the umbrella in my bag.
I always waited for it to rain. I love that weather.

And so the start of third quarter came. I rarely go to school anymore.
I just go somewhere. I was always absent.
I go to school twice a week and due to that I rarely see him anoymore. And whenever I'm in school,
he never tried approaching me again.

The whole day was blunt. The sky was cloudy and it looked like it'll rain soon so I waited. I waited for it to rain.
It was finally raining and almost time to go home. I was excited to walk in the rain and go home.

Our teacher dismissed us the same time the other sections were dismissed. I walked towards our school gate wanting to feel the rain and not minding the crowd when I noticed that the rain stopped.

No. It didn't stopped raining yet no raindrop hits my skin.

Someone just shared an umbrella with me. Intentionally or maybe not, who knows?
It was him. I looked at him confused then I walked faster avoiding him and his annoying umbrella.

Why would he do that? Why would he even try to approach me again? After not talking to me before?

After that I got sick. Probably because of the rain. I caught a fever and didn't go to school for three days.
I thought about the umbrella incident again and again and again.

I didn't know that would be the last time I'd see him and I wasn't even looking properly. It was just a glance at his face that matured a little.

The next days my eyes searched for him. But I never saw him.

The teachers announced an open slot in the other section and I was happy.

Deep down I wanted to be with him again. My heart desired to be with him.

I worked hard towards the end of third quarter. I didn't care even if it's only a quarter left to be with him. As long as I am with him it's fine.

I achieved it.
I passed and got the slot. I was reunited with my friends and we celebrated. I was so happy that day but it also shattered me.

I asked one of them were he was and o found out that he.

....

He had left.

A few days ago.

For good.

Without a goodbye.

Then and there. I knew, my heart knew.

I was in love with him from the very start.
He was my first love and I never told him that.

I regretted avoiding him. I cried and pretended I was happy.

I told people that it was for his own good. It was for the better.
That his future was brighter in Japan.

But deep down. I wish he'd stay.