Catalyst

XXVI

The next day, as Camila approaches the table Sofi has sat at for visiting hours, she takes in the exasperated, concerned look on her face and almost laughs. Before she even has a chance to sit down, Sofi explodes:

"What happened? When I tried to visit last time they told me you were in isolation for harboring a knife?"

Camila plops down in her chair and pulls it in, rolling her eyes playfully, "It's nice to see you too, sis."

"Camila, you do realize that what you do in here matters? When I take in your appeal, the prosecution is going to analyze your time spent here, and they will use it to refute any evidence I bring in proving your innocence. You could be pulled in for completely different crimes and this will have all been for nothing—"

"Relax. I was set up," Camila waves her hands to tell Sofi to settle down. She reluctantly sits back in her seat, crossing her legs and folding her hands into her lap. The rise of her brows tells Camila to explain, "There are some people here who have... issues with me."

Sofi sighs and shrugs her shoulders, looking a bit uncomfortable and a bit concerned at the mention of potential enemies, "Well, what can I do to help?"

"Don't worry about it," Camila is quick to dismiss with a smile, "I handled it. And besides, I can worry about what's going on here. You're already doing so much for me."

"Yeah, well," Sofi looks sheepish, "You're my sister. I want to help you. But, anyway, how are you, other than that? Was it bad down there? I was worried."

It feels strange to have someone—multiple people—who worry about her. She's never had that before.

She feels a chill run down her spine as she thinks back to her time spent in the SHU, almost like she's sitting in there right now. She tries her best not to frown as she says, "It was alright. A little cold, but... alright."

Sofi doesn't look like she believes her. Camila doesn't blame her; she doesn't really try her best to be convincing. She thinks that at this point, they have both accepted that conditions here are less than ideal.

"Lauren helped," Camila says, trying to change the subject.

"Lauren? Who's that?"

"I've been meaning to talk to you about her," Camila runs her hands over her pants, suddenly feeling very nervous. It occurs to her that Sofi doesn't know anything about Camila's sexuality. Hell, Camila doesn't know anything about Camila's sexuality. She just knows that Lauren drives her crazy. "She's very important to me."

"'Important' to you?"

"Yes," Camila gulps. She wants so badly to turn around and meet Lauren's eyes across the room. She knows it would make saying the next few words a little easier. But... there's really no turning back now, is there? "She's my... my girlfriend."

There's a moment where it is very clear to Camila that Sofi has not processed her words. She even looks a little distracted. But then, it clicks, "You're gay?"

The way Sofi says it makes Camila's stomach lurch with a whole new set of nerves that must have been reserved for the gay panic that comes with having to come out to someone... when you're not entirely sure what you're coming out to them as. Fuck labels, Camila thinks, I wish we could all just exist and date who we want without anyone needing to specify.

Camila leans forward, "Uh, I don't know? Maybe... I just like her, that's all. Is that...?"

"Oh!" Sofi looks a bit appalled and embarrassed as it dawns on her how that must have sounded, "No, that's... I'm sorry, that came out wrong. Love is love, and all that. I'm just a little surprised. No, that sounds bad, too... I don't love you any less, okay?"