you found me//Destiel

seven

The car ride was quietly comfortable like normal. They sometimes would point something weird out and laugh about it or talk quietly about stuff they wanted to talk about but for the most part, they were quiet as the radio blasted classic rock through it. Dean just thought of Castiel the whole time. He'd look at the photo he had on the windshield or he'd imagine him here with him. Dean just really missed the angel, and it hurt more knowing he wasn't dead anymore. He just wasn't here with him, where he should be.

When they pulled up to the bunker, Dean didn't get out immediately like he usually did. He sat numbly staring at the steering wheel and Sam noticed. So Sam didn't get out either. He turned the radio up a bit and sat back, letting Dean sort through his thoughts. 3 and a half songs later, Dean finally came to. As if he was in a life long coma. He looked dazed and confused as he looked up and around, giving Sam a weird look. "How long were we sat here?" Dean asks. Sam counted the minutes in his head before turning to his brother. "Roughly 12 minutes." Sam says and Dean groaned and ran his hand his his face.

"Let's go, I'm exhausted." Dean said but he wasn't, not really. You'd think he would be because of the long drive. Dean was hoping, that like that dream, that he'd walk inside and Castiel would be waiting there for him. He wanted that so badly that he was kind of convincing himself that Cas was in there. Dean hurriedly threw his bag over his shoulder, and unlocked the door, pushing it open. Sam stared confused as he followed his all of a sudden hyperactive brother. Dean rushed down the stairs as Sam closed the door. Dean became disappointed. He wasn't here. Why would he be?

Dean just turned and walked off to his room, as if he had been betrayed. It hurt. Sam then understood that his brother was expecting the angel to be here. So he prayed. Sam went all out too. Got on his knees, folded his hands and he prayed to Castiel. "Cas I know you can hear me. I know you're probably stuck in heaven right now sorting shit out but, Dean needs you. He misses you so much. He just needs to know you're alive. Even for a minute...please. We miss you dude." Sam says and he stood up, looking around. Nothing. Maybe it didn't work?

Not the praying, but the spell. Maybe it actually didn't work. Unless, Castiel really didn't have his memories back. Maybe he could hear them praying but just didn't know who the fuck these two dudes were and why they were constantly praying to him. Or how they even knew him. But then that led Sam to a thought, and he rushed to Dean's room.

Dean looked up from his laptop, giving Sam a confused look. "If it makes you feel better, Castiel has to remember us. If not, he would've come here to ask us how we know who he is, and why we're praying to him. He's probably just busy. Think about it." Sam says and Dean thought for a minute but suddenly it looked like he understood. "Wait yeah you're right. If he was who he was before he met us, he would've came here to ask us how we know about him. Maybe he still can't fly and he had to walk here for something?" Dean suggests and Sam nods. "You'll see him Dean. I know it." Sam says before leaving and Dean believed his younger brother, happy with the new information he acquired.

A long week went by. No cases popped up, No Castiel. Dean was becoming angry, upset and a big mess once again. Sam tried reassuring him but the dude could only do so much. Dean needed to help himself. He needed to realize that life isn't fair sometimes. It's like the older Winchester forgot that or something. Dean was being a child. "It's not fair Sam." Dean says angrily and Sam had enough. Of all of this. These past.. how many months now? He's had to be the big brother per say. And he was sick of it. Dean wasn't listening, was being difficult. In all honesty it wasn't fair to Sam.

"No. You listen to me Dean. Life isn't fair. We lose people all the time and maybe it's time you start realizing that Cas is gone! It didn't work, he's probably still dead and we can't do anything about it. We tried. Spells, praying. He isn't here. So he's gone, and you need to start accepting that because I can't deal with this anymore!" Sam says loudly and Dean just stared at him blankly. "Stop it. He's not dead. The spell worked I felt it." Dean says and Sam throws his face into his hands. You're fucking kidding right?