𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. ₁ ™️

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 - 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄

how i adore our love would be so true, i just wish you knew. i'd be all yours if my mind didn't wonder i've got scars from my life before you
-insecure by brent faiyaz

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𝓪𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓪
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i've been staring up at my ceiling for about an hour now, not being able to sleep due to my mind racing. all the thoughts and words said by my mom were playing in my head at once and i just laid here listening to it all.

i turned my head besides me seeing that the time on my clock read 3:57 am. sighing, i turned back up at the ceiling before completely sitting up in my bed. i grabbed a picture frame off of my nightstand and stared at it.

the picture displayed me, leon, nyomi, and my mom at them old school photoshoots back in the day. my mom was sat in a chair as nyomi, leon, and i were hugging onto her, not even looking into the camera. we genuinely looked happy.

as time passed by after my mom's death, i guess my happiness sort of worn off. i learned how to fake my emotions when i had to, so nobody can see me in my vulnerable state and try to play me. all of these characteristics was taught to me by nyomi and leon. they taught me how to be independent and to never trust someone too easily, because you never know when they're going to switch up on you.

as you can probably see, this took a toll on my childhood. instead of going to school and playing in a playground with friends, i was traveling the streets in search of anyone who might want to hire me for a job. of course no one was going to hire me, because i was only 5 at the time, but as i grew up i learned to take care of myself. i began dog sitting to buy food when nyomi and leon worked their asses off to pay for a homeless shelter damn near all day.

without my mom, sister, brother, or even my dad in the picture, i found myself extremely lonely and i craved for at least one friend. eventually i met elijah at an abandoned playground. he was with jahzell, lewis, and makayla and ever since then we all became super close.

i felt better about my situation when i found out i had more in common with these people than i thought.

elijah had lost his brother in a drive by shooting and ever since then he's been involved with gangs and drugs and all that shit. he committed his life to the streets and that's where he got raised for the most part.

jahzell didn't lose a family member, but he lost a close friend due to an altercation involving gangs. he, like elijah, also committed his life to the streets and began getting involved with drugs and gangs at a young age.

lewis never lost anyone, but in a way he did. he came out to his parents when he was only 8 years old and they didn't accept him after that. his parents were very religious and they claimed lewis as the son of satan. they even tried to force him straight, but in a long run lewis knew what he liked and he wasn't changing that. he eventually moved in with his two older brothers who didn't care that he was gay.

makayla also didn't lose anyone, but when she was younger, she got bullied for her looks. back then, people weren't really fond of dark skinned women, so they hated makayla. she would come home with bruises and stuff poured on her from kids at her school.

as you can tell, we all came from different backstories but that's why we all connected and stood behind eachother, no matter what. lewis, elijah, and jahzell all did home schooling so makayla and i wouldn't feel alone, but as we grew up, we all transferred to public school.