I'm ultra aware that there are a lot of young girls and boys on Wattpad (11-15ish), and a HUGE number of the romance books on Wattpad are horrible representations for what a healthy relationship should look like. One of the biggest is issues is how possessive a partner is. Possessiveness can be incredibly controlling and harmful - and a huge indicator of a potentially abusive partnership - emotionally, mentally, verbally, and physically.
Here are some red flags:
Totally cool: "Hey, do you want to be exclusive?"
Red flag: "No-one but me is allowed to touch you."
Totally cool: "It makes me feel weird when you flirt with other people, can we talk about that?"
Red flag: "If you loved me, you would stop being friends with them. You KNOW it makes me jealous."
Totally cool: "I hope we're together forever. I'm so in this for the long haul."
Red flag:"If you ever left me, I would kill myself."
Totally cool: "Your mum is really unkind to me, can we try to minimise how often you bring me when you visit her?"
Red flag: "Your mum hates me, you need to stop talking to her. She's trying to ruin our relationship."
Totally cool: "I love you so much, oh my god."
Red flag: "It's a good thing I love you so much, because no one else would. You'd be alone forever without me."
Other important red flags to keep in mind: someone who wants to jump into emotional/financial co-dependence very fast (like moving in together right away, or becoming each others only confidantes right away) and won't take no for an answer; someone who tries to minimise how often you leave the house or interact with other people; someone who threatens you or themselves or your family, pets, possessions or financial future; someone who uses guilt to keep you from leaving a relationship.
Very important reminder: you do not need a reason to leave a relationship. Neither does the other person (or people). A relationship over when one of the people in it say it's over, period. Obviously it's kind to take the end of a long relationship seriously, but abusers and manipulators have lost the right to that conversation. Lie if you need to - your safety is much more important that their feelings.
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