The Outlanders

Our War

LANE

I don't think my heart can take this anymore.

From the very back I can hear Jett run his mouth about how we need to get to the Obelisk as fast as possible, while Willow bargains for his understanding as to why we've been sitting around in the same area for almost thirty minutes.

I just want him to shut up so I can listen to my own thoughts. To bury Julia in the Underhell would be a disservice to her, and everything she stood for in life. But do we really have much of a choice? Mars takes a stride until the both of us stand side by side. It's a little awkward to have him next to me, especially with how huge he's gotten since donning the armor. He puts a hand on my shoulder, and asks the one question everyone should know the answer to. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine." I've since reluctantly let go of her body, after hugging it for what felt like forever. It just sucks that even forever wasn't enough time.

"I never knew you felt so much for her." He claims, but is treading lightly. He doesn't have to dance around when talking to me just because of what happened, but I guess if I were in his position I'd pretty much do the same.

My tongue presses against the side of my cheek as I nod my head a few times. I'm looking dead center at the space between my feet, yet I can still feel Mars watching me with so much pity. I want to tell him he doesn't have to, but having him do so makes it all feel just a little easier. "She was a volunteer nurse for mom."

He breathes slightly, armor clinking with the slightest movements he made. "I'm sorry, Lane."

"Don't be." I reply without even thinking. "She didn't die because of you. Julia died because of Othera." My teeth sink deep against my lower lip. "I don't understand it, Mars. How can the goddess of life kill the person acting as her voice?"

"I hate to say it, Lane."

"Just do it."

He breathes deep, "Saving Kasper isn't really part of Othera's plan."

"Are you saying it's our fault she died?"

Mars raises his brow, but shakes his head, and his hand grips my shoulder a little tighter. "No. Lane. No." My gaze tears away from the ground, and met with a smile coming from him. It isn't a smile that's laced with malice, but one that's meant to put me at ease. It does the job, but not a whole lot. It isn't from Mars' lack of trying though. I know a sympathetic Marston Fetch when I see one. "Julia wanted to help. If anything, this Othera's doing. Not ours. Not yours."

I let out a breath that feels like expelling the cold chill in my chest. "Yeah. I guess." He releases my shoulder, and I look back to the rest of the group, wondering who, and how many could overhear the conversation we were both having. Willow and Jett were still having their own world, Noriel is with Jackie, both preparing the rites on giving Julia the proper treatment amidst being in Underhell. Seeing the isolation, I start to question everything. "Is it sitting right with you?"

"What is?"

"Just, the whole Othera thing." I shrug slightly, even taking that moment to wipe my face clean of tear residues.

"What do you mean by that?" He moves the helmet stuck against his arm and his side, to relocate it to the other.

"Goddess of life, but she doesn't even hesitate to off someone so loyal to her. I mean I get it, she disobeyed her. Once. It's fucking irritating how Julia didn't even get a slap on the fucking wrist. Instead, she's--" I extend my hand outwards. "--you know."

"Are you familiar with Greek Mythology?"

I raise my brow. "A little, I guess." I've never put any effort into educating myself on things that didn't equate to looking my best, or standing out --physically-- which meant that my knowledge on Greek mythology, or any mythology for that matter, is practically either surface level, or non-existent. "Zeus, Hades, Poseidon." Off the top of my head I name a few, but I reckon those are names that anybody knew anyway.