Unbreakable | TZ

7: Saylor's Story

TW: talk of mental health/drug usage

Saylor POV

"You can talk to me, Saylor," Trevor tells me once I calm down. I look at him with sad eyes, then look back down. Thinking about it now, I'm pretty ashamed of what happened. I'm not sure if I should tell him. But then I look into his eyes and I feel safe. I have to tell him.

"Last year, I had a boyfriend," I begin, already having his full attention. I continue, saying, "We started dating in the middle of my sophomore year. I really thought he was the one. Stupid, I know. A junior in high school and I think I found my soulmate. We were just best friends. He was my go-to person for everything. I really felt genuine love for him. And for the first maybe eight months, he felt the same way. But somewhere along the line, he stopped loving me. Except he didn't tell me. He just stopped talking to me as much. He stopped hanging out with me as often. This was around a month before our one year anniversary."

I take a deep breath, thinking about what happened. I hate thinking about this, but Trevor seems like he cares and for some reason I trust him. I notice my hand is shaking, and hope that he doesn't see. He grabs my shaking hand, saying, "Continue whenever you're ready, Say," in a calm, sweet voice.

"As any teenage girl would do in this situation, I blamed myself. I was very unhappy in my relationship. The lack of care and affection I was receiving was slowly killing me. Eventually, I told Britt and Ansley about it. They told me to talk to him about it, so I did. He disagreed with my thoughts and said I'm needy and dramatic. I waited a few days to think about it, but then I broke up with him. I didn't want to, but I knew I needed to because I deserve to be treated with respect. I broke up with him about a month after our anniversary. I think in April."

I pause after that thought, letting Trevor soak in what I said before I get to the juicy parts. He gives me an empathetic look and pats my hand, which is resting on the island. I give him a small smile back before I start to speak.

"This is where it gets good. So we broke up, and let me say: breakups where you do the dumping but you're the one that gets heartbroken CHANGE you. I spent about two months super depressed. I would lay in my bed every day and sob. I would literally go to school, do the bare minimum, come home, and just cry myself to sleep. My grades suffered. I wasn't eating. I was so miserable. I really thought I would never smile again in my life. My parents sent me to therapy and it didn't work. Imagine being the girl that's so broken even therapy can't fix her? I know, it's pathetic. Anyway, one day Britt and Ansley had enough of this so they forced me to go to a party with them. I got super drunk but loved the way it felt. I was finally happy. So I kept drinking. And drinking. But something about drinking just wasn't filling the void in my life. So I tried drugs. I started smoking pot, but that wasn't enough either. I'm not proud of it, but I also did coke."

Trevor's jaw drops. I chuckle a little at his reaction. I can't wait to see what he thinks of the rest of this story.

"Anyway, so one night at a party I was doing the usual. You know, coke. I was getting so wrapped up with the drugs that I didn't realize how much I took. I passed out and woke up in the hospital. I was scared and confused. It turns out, I had overdosed, but was taken to the hospital quick enough that they were able to save me. Obviously, I couldn't just be released into the world after this. I was sent to a rehab facility. For the drugs and for more intense therapy. I spent the whole summer there. But now I'm pretty much better. I'm not on antidepressants though because like, the whole drug addiction thing."
I finish my story and Trevor just looks at me. He let out a breath of air, and speaks, "Saylor, I had no idea."

I giggle slightly, saying, "Yeah well, it's not really something I advertise to the masses."

Trevor hugs me again. I almost wished he wouldn't let go. But I didn't. And then he let go. He sits back down and looks as if he was contemplating something.

"You can ask questions if you're confused or curious," I say, laughing at him.

"Is there anything I shouldn't um, say or do around you? Like that will bring that back or something?" he asks worriedly, which is honestly adorable.

"No, please no. Britt, Peter, Ansley, and my whole family already tiptoe around me and talk and act like they're on eggshells. I can't heal if people don't treat me like I'm a normal person," I say and he nods.

"So that douche is the reason you won't go on a date with me?" he asks in a joking manner, but I know there is some real curiosity behind it.

"It's not just him. It's the whole process. What if I fall in love with you and things end the same way and I end up down that path again? I can't let that happen," I say in a slightly panicked tone.

"No, I get that. But I think it's worth a try. Not now, but eventually," he says hopefully.

I smile at him. "Eventually," I verify for him, causing him to smile. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: They're such cuties. Also yay I'm happy Saylor's behavior (hopefully) makes more sense now! Comments/suggestions are always appreciated! Don't forget to vote :)