Chapter 26

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Finn

"What the fuck is that?" It's a stupid question, but it's what comes out of my mouth. It's obvious it's a fucking tattoo, but what I don't understand is why it's on Mom's wrist and why Millie is here with her.

Here.

With my mom.

Without me.

"Finn Wolfhard! Watch your language!"

Mom sounds more pissed than I've heard her in a long time. I like it because it almost sounds normal. Like she's okay, but one look at her reminds me she's not.

My eyes find her wrist again and I take a few steps forward before I freeze. My name on her wrist. She put my name in her skin.

Because she's dying.

Because she's dying and she wanted to take me with her.

And I wouldn't do it for her.

Wouldn't help her.

I spent the night in fucking jail while Millie did something for her that I couldn't.

"Surprise!" Millie tries to sound happy. I'm jealous of her for that. For having it in her to pretend things are okay unlike me who just gets pissed. For doing something for Mom that I should have done, but didn't. And when she wanted it, I wouldn't have been able to do it for her anyway.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I throw at Millie. She flinches and I feel like a fucking prick, but I can't make myself take it back either.

"I would think that's pretty obvious," Millie says. I can tell she wants to say a whole lot more than that, but she's holding off. For Mom.

"If you're going to act like that, Finn, you can turn around and walk right back out of here. This isn't Millie's fault. I wanted a tattoo and I called her. Frankly it's none of your damn fucking business."

Mom's words are like a slap because I want Millie to be my business and Mom always has been.

I step up to them and Millie walks away from the bed. I grab Mom's wrist and look at the swirl of letters.

Finnie

It's simple. Plain black and not very big. It rests on her pulse point. Christ, it had to hurt for her to get a tattoo there.

But she did it. For me. She went out there were she could have gotten sick or anything could have happened.

"This was stupid, Mom. Where did you go?"

"Nowhere," Millie answers for her. "I wouldn't do that. I brought someone here."

I can't make myself look at Millie which makes me an even bigger asshole than I already was. I'm wearing the same clothes from yesterday. Sat my ass in jail for a baggie with a little weed while she was taking care of my mom.

I shouldn't be pissed at her for that.

"You shouldn't have done this," I tell Mom.

"I..." don't want her to die. This somehow means she's really going to fucking die.

"I needed to, Finnie. I think it's beautiful. I wanted to do more, but I decided simple was better."

I actually want to fucking cry hearing her speak. She never calls me Finnie. Never. But she is now. And she needed my name in her skin.

"Well, it's my name. It has to look badass." The words don't feel nearly as real as I make them sound.

"That's more like it," she says. I lean down and kiss her forehead. She feels clammy.

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