The One (ReaderXJohn Mulaney)

Chapter 9

I didn't sleep that night. 

I didn't sleep that night and I went to school with bags under my eyes.

Even the smiley face on my cheek looked sad. 

Seeing John didn't even really make things better either. He seemed to notice.

"Hey Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?" he asked, as I was leaving class. I nodded and shuffled over to his desk. "What's wrong?" he said, that softness I was sure he had only ever shown me returning. In that moment, I wanted to cry, but I managed to hold it back. 

"Mia's taking me to court." I mumbled. His blue orbs widened.

"What?" he said softly, placing a hand on my arm, concerned to no ends. Subconsciously, I leaned into him.

"Probably over the fight. It's fine- it'll be fine. " I swallowed. I had to be strong now.

"You know you can come talk to me any time. I'm..I'm sorry for having been so cold to you after that day. When you fell."

I nodded, running a hand through my hair.

"It's okay."

"It's just, I'm nervous about opening  up to people sometimes- and I just needed some time to think. "

My heart lurched. He really just said that to me, didn't he. 

"But my point is, if you wanted to come here during lunch or break, you're more than welcome. It's kind of cold in that hallway you and your friends hang out in, isn't it?"

"I guess." I shrugged.

Suddenly the bell rung and I jumped, stepping out of John's arms. He had his arms around me. When did he do that? It made me feel warm, like when he rescued me from the fight the other day.  Students started coming in for the next class and I started finally heading out.

---

I lived in absolute tension the next few days, barely eating and chewing my nails down to the beds. Hannah was back at school, a fat bruise on her temple, but still her good old self nonetheless. I think Krissy still felt bad because she seemed hesitant to talk to us again. She said she was eating lunch in the bio lab now so she could catch up on some assignments, but I don't think that's 100% true. It didn't make me mad or anything, I think quiet was probably good right now. I love Krissy, but she can talk so much sometimes. So it was just me and Hannah for now, eating and laughing at dumb memes. The following Wednesday, a week after the original fight, I was in the middle of my sandwhich, when I perked up, remembering what John had told me. 

"Hey, do you wanna go have lunch with John? He said we could if we wanted to."

"So we're on a first name basis now?" she inquired.

"I mean, I guess." I blushed and pulled my sweater paws down, glancing sideways.

"Huh."

"Sooo, do you wanna go?"

"Do we have to?"

"I mean we don't, it was just a suggestion."

"I'm really comfy.." Hannah whined. I don't want to lie, I felt a little bit disappointed. John had insinuated that he really wanted to keep the personal side of our "relationship"- it..it wasn't a relationship. It's not. I just need a word to describe it. But he said he wanted to keep our personal relationship outside of class time. So apart from glances in class, he treated me like any other student. I was starting to miss his arms. 

"You can go though." Hannah said, picking up on my look. That made me feel worse.

"No- it's okay-"

"No, you can go. It's fine Y/N, I know he's probably more important than me anyways."

"Hannah-"

"I saw how you guys were when he pulled you out of that fight. I wonder what it's like-"

"You can't seriously be jealous."

"No, I'm not jealous. Just confused. But don't worry, you're only replacing me, your best friend of twelve freaking years with a guy you don't even know-"

"I do know him." I started, feeling heated. 

"You do? How? Through his Netflix specials? Through the three times you've hung out with him? What's his favorite food? What about his favorite movie? His family? Tell me, Y/N" she said, putting her phone down. She looked so mad, if I hadn't been so angry too I might have felt guilty, but impulse took over and I wouldn't feel the guilt until much later.

"At least he knows not to jump into things he knows he can't handle!" 

"What does that mean?" Hannah demanded. We were standing up now, and my eyes were filling with tears once again. Hannah's were cold and icy, hardened from so many arguments she wasn't even affected by them anymore.

"If you had any sort of filter- or- or moral compass, you would have just let things go in the bathroom. You wouldn't have agreed to the fight, you wouldn't have gotten beaten up, and Mia wouldn't be freaking suing me right now. This is your fault!" I cried at her, the tears streaming now. 

Hannah looked at me. 

She swallowed.

And without saying another word,

she grabbed her bag and walked away.

Suddenly the hallway felt wide and empty, and I felt so small. I didn't understand how Hannah had already disappeared; the corridor seemed to be miles long. Did I really just say those things? Oh my god--what did I just do. My mind began racing through the same mud path over and over making things messy so messy. Messy, messy, messy. Overthrown by dizziness and disorientation, I was left alone, with my only company now being the echoes of my own sobs, reverberating through the desolate, vast open space.