Hour Before Dawn

Chapter 20

Note: Hi everyone! I haven't been including my notes in the chapters and a few chapters back, I made an announcement on twitter. If you don't follow me on twitter, I'd like to say now that we've come to the end of the story. This is the last and final chapter, followed by an epilogue. I can't believe we've all come this far and I'd like to thank all of you for being a part of this ride. Sending you all so much love from Beanie, Yejie and myself! ❤️

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To my bestfriend, my boyfriend, my lover, my fiancé, my everything, my Beanie,

You proposed to me today. God, thinking about it is making me smile like an idiot again but I don't care. It's been a roller coaster kind of day, but I'm so happy, Beanie. So so so happy. You have no idea how happy you make me by just being yourself and by being in my life. I can still remember the first time I met you. Hahaha who would've thought that the timid guy I met in university would be the person to make me the happiest I can ever be.

Thank you for the happiness you brought into my life, Beanie. Thank you for always making me smile, for making me laugh, for taking good care of me, for being my security blanket, or I should say, my security beanie.

I've always imagined myself marrying you, but I never really expected it to happen because I was so afraid of risking our friendship. Thank you for taking that risk for us, Beanie. Thank you for giving us the chance to enjoy each other's company and express our feelings with no limitations.

Your proposal was the best surprise I've ever had. You said that I was your sunshine. Beanie, no questions asked, you are my sunshine too. You were, you are, and you will always be my sunshine.

Have you ever heard of the phrase, the darkest hour is just before the dawn? Meeting you was exactly like that. In spite of always being surrounded by friends and colleagues, and living life on the go like there was no time to rest, I've always felt alone. I was clouded with loneliness and sorrow and those feelings were at their strongest before meeting you. It was hard, Beanie. It was hard knowing that you have so many people in your life and yet you feel so isolated, so alone. I don't know why. I thought, maybe it was because I grew up thinking that I had no one else but myself. Whatever it was, I carried it with me for a while. It was the darkest days of my life, but I would live through that loneliness again because what came afterwards was better than anything I could have ever imagined. You.

You weren't exactly the most cheerful person to be around, but you just had something in you that lit my life up.

Thank you, Beanie. Thank you for being my light. Thank you for being my hope. Thank you for being my sunshine.

I love you so much. Gosh, I love you so much. I'm crying again haha. But, don't worry, it's happy tears. I just love you so much. Words are not enough, actions are not enough to tell and show you how much I love you. I just do, I really really really do.

I hope you don't wake up out of the blue and see me crying hahaha. We're on the couch right now and you fell asleep on my lap. You look like a big baby right now all curled up with your head on my thighs, but that's okay because you are my baby. *wink* Can you picture us right now? It's almost midnight and the only light on is coming from the tv. I'm sitting on the couch while you're sleeping beside me, facing my stomach. I hope it doesn't growl and wake you up haha! Anyway, it seems a bit odd to be typing this letter for you on your phone while you're sleeping but I needed to let it out somehow. I don't know if I've ever expressed myself like this to you, but I have the strong urge to do it right now, so here I am.

I don't know when you're going to see this note, but it's here when you find it. I just need you to know how thankful I am for you, Beanie, and how much I love you. You were, you are, and you will always be my sunshine. I mean it.