Loveless

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Rachel, Quinn and Kurt were sitting on the brunette's bed. The covers had come off and two bags with Rachel's stuff were filled, standing right by the door.

Kurt prefered staying silent. He liked being there, giving his newly found friends comfort, especially Rachel. He just didn't really know how to act around her yet. The blonde girl had obviously come to an understanding with her, as they were giggling together over something he wasn't really paying attention to.

"Excited to go home, Rach?" The blonde smiled at the girl sitting in front of her. Their hands were barely touching, their pinkies laying bare next to each other. Kurt liked seeing his friends happy. He hadn't seen them like this in a while.

Rachel's smile grew infinitely.

"God, yes. I can't wait to finally sleep in my own bed again."

Kurt grinned at her. He got confused sometimes. Rachel seemed like such a carefree and happy person, and then this happened. What followed was a few weeks of radio silence, and Rachel was back to her old self. In the end, the boy was just glad she seemed happy again.

He also knew most of it had to do with Quinn. The blonde was one of the few people who reached out for her time and time again. The blonde hadn't exactly had an easy childhood herself, so he figured she understood. Quinn always understood. That's what was so likable about her.

"I- um- I hope you don't mind, Kurt, but I asked Quinn to come over tomorrow for a bit of a girl's night." Rachel shot him an apologetic look. Kurt shot a simple smile back at her. It's not like he even wanted to interrupt them or whatever was going on between them. He'd much rather stay home, read Vogue while laying on the couch and get the flood of happy texts from Quinn afterwards.

"No, by all means, enjoy your girl's night. I'll be enjoying a nice relaxation night of my own." He smirked at Rachel, knowing she'd be jealous. One of the only things he and the brunette had in common was their love for skin care and meditation. Or, well... it was what they used to have in common. Kurt didn't know if Rachel was still up for any of it.

Rachel smiled shyly at him.

Kurt knew she was grateful he wouldn't be sticking around.


"So... what about Rent?"

"You know what? I could actually get behind that. Santana and I used to watch it a lot. We know all the lyrics to Light My Candle."

Rachel's eyes lit up at the confession. The case was immediately pulled from the large cabinet filled with DVDs, mostly musicals. Not that it surprised the blonde.

"Really? You always know how to surprise me, Fabray." A small smirk grew on Rachel's face.

"You don't know the half of it, Berry."

The brunette pulled the disk out and put it in the DVD player. Taking her time, Quinn looked around through Rachel's room. This was actually the first time she'd ever been inside. It looked exactly like she thought it would. Her walls were a bright color yellow, her white, twin-size bed stood against the wall and hanging from the ceiling was a small TV. On the other side of the room, a large, white desk stood. On the other wall were a bunch of pictures. She recognized a few of pictures from glee club, including the one where they were all hugging after their win at sectionals last year. There were also pictures of people she didn't know. The blonde made a mental note to ask Rachel about them later.

Rachel climbed back on the bed and layed down, her head resting on the pillow just a few inches away from Quinn. Quinn could feel Rachel's body heat, the same way she felt it when she was laying beside her in her hospital bed. She really didn't like the effect the singer had on her, but she pushed the thought out as the movie started rolling.

Rachel was actually paying attention to it, even though Quinn figured she must have watched it a thousand times.

The blonde couldn't help but stare at her. Her big, brown eyes were focused on the screen. The way the corners of her mouth twitched every so often put a small smile on her face. It made her feel calm.

"I can feel your eyes on me, Fabray."

Rachel's eyes remained glued to the movie. Quinn couldn't help but grin. Rachel turned around and looked her in the eye. Quinn pressed her lips together and locked eyes with her. She didn't really know what to say, but she knew that the brunette's soft gaze felt good.

Suddenly Rachel's smile disappeared. She reached for the remote, pausing the movie before turning back to the blonde.

"Why are you doing this, Quinn?"

The question took Quinn by surprise.

"Doing what?"

"Why are you here right now?! You don't like me. You've made that very clear."

The emotion that was previously in Rachel's eyes was suddenly invisible to Quinn. Why couldn't she just accept my apology?

"I'm- I'm sorry. You know I'm sorry. I never hated you. None of it- none of what I did was your fault, it was all on me."

"But why? Why are you sorry?"

Rachel raised her eyebrow, eyes still locked on Quinn's. The blonde didn't know how to reply to that.

"Everything you said to me was true, Quinn. My reindeer sweaters are hideous. My nose is big. My body is undesirable. I do look like a grandma and a toddler at the same time."

"When did I ever say you look like a grandma and a toddler at the same time?"

"Kurt talks, you know."

Quinn saw tears pooling in the brunette's eyes. She couldn't believe she thought so bad of herself. She never let herself belief that Rachel felt so bad about herself.

"Rachel, you don't understand-"

"Then make me understand! Tell me what you want from me!" The words came out sharply, her goal was clear. She wanted to know the truth.

"I don't think you have a big nose. I think it's cute. I think it fits your face perfectly. I think your reindeer sweaters are adorable. I get sad when you don't wear them to school. Your body... it's far from undesirable. You've always been gorgeous, Rachel. You still are. To me."

The other girl's face remained still. A few tears had dropped down on her pillow, only proving to Quinn that at least she had heard her words.

"I never disliked you. Don't you get it? I don't know- I feel a lot for you. I just don't know how to express it."

Quinn dared to look Rachel straight in the eye. The brunette looked back. She didn't show signs of wanting to talk, which Quinn appreciated. Then suddenly- Rachel's hands grabbed the sides of Quinn's face. Her lips crashed onto the blondes in a passionate kiss. Quinn stayed still for a second, caught in surprise before kissing her back. As soon as Rachel caught up with what she was doing, she immediately pulled back. Her face rested inches away from Quinn's, whose cheeks were colored a bright red.

"I- I can't. I think you should go, Quinn."

"Rachel, wait-"

"No! Please just leave."

Quinn picked up her things and left the room, looking back once to Rachel, sitting on the bed with her eyes closed. Fuck.

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