The Rating System

Chapter Two-The Rating System-Part two

The original Popularity Rulers...enhanced: Jim Levenstein, (Jason Biggs), Kevin Myers, (Thomas Ian Nicholas), and Paul Finch, (Eddie Kaye Thomas), find out that Internet in 1999 is full of comic hilarity in 'American Pie', 1999; Steve Stifler, (Seann Willam Scott), decides everyone is not as popular as he is, the same movie, right in the media section.

Warning: It is rated R for strong coarse language, sex references, adult themes.

You must be 18 years and over to see and hear it.

*

Tyler yawned.

He imagined seeing Joan...And The Professor. And wished that no one would be scared of the crap that was happening.

He closed his tired eyes in the dorm of the fraternity house...and was in the Land of Nod for the next three hours.

*

Biff knocked on the dorm room.

"Tyler, you dickhead...You missed detention".

"The Professor was fired...or left".

"She got her job back".

Tyler opened his eyes.

"No fucking way".

"Yes, she was forced to tone down her attraction to frat boys. And is all business. Hell, you can't see her cleavage; you can't see her slender legs. You seem to want to make love with her...She's on the top of the Rating System with Shelby...And Victoria Faraday. And she's hot. I was thinking we can get wasted at The Chug A Lug Beer-A-Thon at Rich's house".

"Fuck no! He wants to be President of Phi Kappa Kappa. And he spends his time hogging the limelight with the Botox Blingers".

"You sure you don't want to meet them. They can't move there foreheads for, like, weeks because their doctors are sticking needles in their skin...and erasing their superficial smiles. What floats his boat".

"Screw them. I have a girlfriend to see, Biff. One who's Jewish".

"Joan is Jewish. You're a Christian".

"I love her".

"Good for you".

"Look, I'll meet you outside".

"Oh, sorry. I got English class. 'Bye!".

"'Bye!".

And the dorm room door closed behind him.

*

Biff walked to the class room.

He was about to go in when Eva appeared.

"Shalom!".

"Shalom! BEI MIR BIST DU SHAYN".

"BEI MIR BIST DU SHAYN".

And she kissed him...as they sat next to each for the second lesson of the day.

*

1 Notes to readers:

BEI MIR BIST DU SHAYN is a Yiddish word that translates to: "TO ME YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL".

Source: http://www.sbjf.org/sbjco/schmaltz/yiddish_phrases.htm.

*

Shalom: A Jewish salutation; a greeting; meaning "Peace".

Source: https://www.google.com.au/?gws_rd=ssl#q=shalom+definition.

*

Tyler flicked on the light.

He reached for the door when Joan appeared.

*

"I was worried".

"I slept. I had had a long session of English, Math, and European History. I didn't forget you. Besides, I was going to ask you out on a date".

"We can eat at the Pizza...".

"Pizza is...how do I say....is...CHAZEREI".

"What is that word, Joan?", Tyler asked.

"Food that's bad. Fast food", she answered.

"Do you cook?".

"Yes, I am a BERRYER".

*

"A cook".

"A homemaker. Yes, I love cooking. I'll teach you Jewish terms. Yiddish is my favorite. Telling my Abba...and Imah...that my goy and I want to be together".

"I contacted them and they want to see you at the New York Synagogue at 7:00 AM in the morning tomorrow for The Shema blessing ritual".

"The what...".

"It's a prayer of Declaration of Faith. I use the Torah book for guidence when I visit Isreal. It's part of who I am as a Jewish woman".

"Ah, I support what you do".

And Joan kissed him...and nodded.

*

Notes to readers 2

Abba-Name for Father in Yiddish

CHAZEREI-Yiddish word for fast food; food that's bad.

Imah-Name for Mother or Mom in Yiddish

Synagogue-Holy Church in Isreal...and other countries where worshippers celebrate their Faith

The Shema-A Jewish term for a 'Declaration of Faith' ritual or ceremony

The Torah-Official name for the Hebrew Bible for the Jewish People; the English name is pronounced "Pentateuch"

*

Sources:

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/705353/jewish/The-Shema.htm.

https://www.google.com.au/?gws_rd=ssl#q=the+torah.

*

Page 3.