Just Roll the Dice (CASTILLEJA SERIES ONE)

Simula

Simula

"This is amazing! Sinong nagturo sayo nito?"

I lifted my head to my mom who was now smiling while looking at my sketch pad. Her eyes twinkle like what she's looking at right now really amazes her.

"No one." I trailed off and smiled simply. She looks genuine. But I believe she's just lying. My works aren't that good or beautiful.

Maybe it's pretty but not very pretty for her to be amazed like this.

My mother is just saying that to make me feel better. Yes, I know that. Though, I appreciate her concern for my feelings that's why I smiled.

Her eyes widened as she looked at me. "Really? How did you learn this then?"

"Practice." I shrugged and looked down at my sketch pad in her hands. "That's why those don't look perfect yet." I smiled, looking like I'm not affected. Hindi naman talaga ako affected.

I know my works are not that good compared to others. It's a fact, and I shouldn't feel bad about it. What I should do is work hard now to do better next time.

"What are you saying?! This looks fabulous! I can't even believe that you're the one who sketched this!" She gave me an 'Are you kidding me?!' look.

I bit my lip and glance away.

Mother will always be a mother. Supporting her child and saying such things to make us feel good. She sighed and looked at me in a very concerned way.

"Why aren't you joining some contest in your school? I'm sure you could win." Unti unti niyang binaba ang hawak at pinagmasdan ako. Her tone sounded so sure while saying those.

"I don't want to." I made a face. Joining activities at school aren't my thing- especially contests. It's just... I hate competition, unlike my Mom who very much loves it.

I'd rather stay here in our house than join one. Besides, I never felt bored here at our home.

"Why not?! You could win, sweety. And I'm telling you, winning feels so good! May pag-asa kang manalo kaya... why take a risk?" She sounded so determined in this. She looked at my designs again. What I draw is just for fashion things like clothes, and pieces of jewelry which I love doing. I love things that are shimmering. Nahinto ang tingin niya sa isang piece of design na dinrawing ko. It's a ring, with a blue diamond at the center. She smirked. "That one is stunning. Is that your dream wedding ring?" Taas kilay niyang tanong.

I bowed my head and didn't answer her.

My mother thinks if I take a risk, I could win. But that's also the thing that I'm not good at. Taking risk. I don't have any confidence to take risks in a game I could never win.

Alam kong hindi mo malalaman kung matatalo ka o mananalo kung hindi mo susubukan. I always said that to my self.

Pero hanggang do'n lang 'yon. Hanggang paalala na lang sa sarili ko. Dahil kahit ilang ulit kong sabihin 'yon sa akin, talagang wala akong lakas ng loob na sumubok sa kahit anong bagay.

Sa huli'y naduduwag pa din ako.

Not like her. No wonder she's teaching me these things.