A SLOW SURRENDER

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the outward mind has been
an enemy of the one inside/
these ears are torn apart
by the voices in my head/
I've been screaming for years
but now I need to be non-violent/
for chaos is born in the absence of silence

in situations which
demanded my conviction/
i was held back by the conflicts
leaking through my thoughts/
when I was meant
to be decisive in my approach/
I was fractured by the countless doubts

I've been operated till now
by a repitative pattern/
suffered enough at the
hands my unconscious mind/
but now I must take charge
& restrain my senses/
can't keep my eyes closed,
when I know I ain't blind

I need to take a step back,
introspect & analyse/
the way I've been treating
the thoughts inside/
the attention I give them
& the energy I shed/
is it all really worth it
or if I am just being played

if I surrender my total faith
then my progress is garaunteed/
I can always have time to
reflect back upon what I've become/
better feelings can occupy
the emptiness of my mental space/
if I manage to redirect all the negativity/
back to where it came from

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