Fire and Ice

Chapter 40

I look up and find Kevin, standing next to me, his hands are glowing white with the ice he just used to extinguish my uncontrollable fire. His bright white aura is surrounding him, his wings are stable behind him, he has become his true self.

White aura, snow for clothes, beautiful white velvety wings, his face the epitome of charm and beauty. He sends everyone directly into shivering. I can see his soul very clearly, it's freezing, just like mine is burning. It's bringing so much calm to my agonizing heart. It's so beautiful I don't wanna take my eyes off it. I have missed his face, this real him for so long I didn't even realize it.

I know I am already drowning in his brown orbs but this is no time for me to think all of this, and I immediately break out of the trance.

I jerk his hand away, he has already extinguished the fire I had set moments ago.

I stand up hysterically, did he lie to me, no my Kevin would not even dream of lying to me, he knows it will hurt me more than anything.

He will hurt me a million times rather than killing me like this. What's going on?

I feel the energy again, the one he soothed a few moments ago. I know I will soon be the monster again.

Why couldn't I detect his lie? Did I misinterpret my feelings about his lies, I always thought I am upset because he doesn't remember me. How could I, Merlita? How many more people will you take from me today?

"YOU LIED TO ME!?" I whisper-yell.

"Sera, I can explain." He pleads.

"No you can't. You lied to me all this time, I.. I don't even have words for this Krius." I say modulating my voice to calm, I know if I don't yell or scream it will be worse for him. I'll do this, they knew, all of them knew. Everyone does that if they lie they only always make it worse even when they think they are keeping me away from worries.

I always thought we suffered together, neither more nor less, together, now I know there is just one suffering, the suffering of being alone.

Maybe this is our curse, not about separating the moment we unite but that the separation is the only way we can really unite.

"Sera, at least give him a chance, let him explain." Shabin steps in.

"You knew too?" I am on fire instantaneously, the energy loss is making me dizzy, it's unbearable. Finally, my vision is getting blurry. It's all dark. Yet again I am fainting, what is it with fainting in this lifetime?

I feel his icy hands around my burning body. I want to jerk his hands off.

********

I wake up dizzy and extremely weak. I can feel that. My eyelids are still very heavy. I stand up. I need to tell everyone I can't stay here anymore, I need some time to cope with so many things I can't even count them on my fingers.

I hear murmurs out of the hay room. Oh I was lying over hay.

"I think I should go see if she's awake." Shabin says in a hushed voice.

I rush back to my spot, lay down and close my eyes. I can't bear to see him right now, he lied as well.

"Sera?" He whispers, shuffling next to me.

He starts caressing my hair, and holds my still-warm hand.

"I know I should have told you, sissy, but I didn't. I knew since the beginning but I refrained from telling you, I thought it was better that way.

I am guilty, I accept it, I just didn't know which was the right way to protect you." He let out a small laugh. "I know, I know, you would have wanted to punch me for even thinking about protecting someone people are so scared of but still, you know I had this brother instinct, now I know what my actions have damaged.

You know, I knew it from the moment he was turned into an infant, for his new life, I knew he would remember everything, and yet I hid it from you. Forgive me if you can, please. I am so afraid to face you I couldn't find any better way to confess all this to you, in your unconsciousness, at least I know you won;t beat the shit out of me for what I have done. Am sorry, Sera, I am so sorry." He keeps weeping. I really want to soothe his pain, I want to console him. I want to hug him and tell him it's okay but it's not. It is not okay. They lied to me. I can't forgive them.

He's silent now. He kisses my forehead and leaves.

I was about to get up and go out again when Nova came in, obviously she was just worried. So, I lie down again, I want to stay alone, talking is the last thing I have on my to do list right now.

"Sera, I am sorry, I am so so so sorry. I had to hide all of this, your Ayah made me promise that I wouldn't tell you until it's a life death situation. Hey and don't blame yourself for his death, no one does because it truly wasn't your fault. Wake up, animal it's been months you have been like this, wake up! We have to figure out what to do next, I promise I'll do whatever you'll ask me to, but just please for once, forgive me."

Am done with everything, each and every person lied to me and I couldn't even guess. Ayah was right, my emotions are my greatest weakness, I never overlook emotions, I am always drowning because of my own damned emotions.

I shift on my hay-bed. "Nat? I might forgive you, but promise me one thing." I whisper.

"Sera! Oh Sera, tell me I promise you the world, just tell me what you want." she said quickly.

"Never tell anyone you saw me go from here." I continue even after seeing her face fall.

"Promise me you'll take everyone back to our original timeline right after my departure." I sit up, look at her one time before flying out of the window. "Do not look for me, I do not wish to see any of your faces."