One-Night Stand Queen

Chapter 5- Dr. Slayder

I guess you could say I was feeling regret. Once the satisfaction of my elevator fuck left me I wanted to crumble to my knees and cry. I really was a twisted human being. I didn't last even five minutes before I had my twat out to another stranger. Worse yet is the knowledge that I'm so emotionally weak. I wanted to blame it on the years of dealing with the same thing, of having to deal with the same sorrow and rejection, but truthfully it's my own fault. I could have left when things became unbearable. I could have packed my bags and continued on with my successful career. I could have turned away from my one and only love but that's the thing he had been my one and only and some foolish part of me still thinks that matters. When really I don't even know if our love is strong enough for my years of betrayal. 

I don't know when my addiction to the act of sex started but I do know when I spiraled out of control. But I knew I wasn't ready to tell the good doctor that yet. It's such a painful memory, so dark and twisted, something that Laurence till this day continues to try to make up to me. I forgave him, a long time ago, but I don't think he's ever forgave himself. It makes me question alot of his motives. 

Is he with me out of guilt? Love? Or obligation? Does he even love me anymore? Will I ever have the pleasure of feeling his body again? 

All these questions run through my mind but no answer is ever given to me.

I begin rubbing my eyes, taking off my guady high school reading glasses and shake the thoughts away. I had so much work to do and still I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. Not just about what happened earlier but about everything. And especially about Dr. O'Conner's card burning a hole in my back pocket. I wanted to call him so that his calm professional demeanor could probe and prod with too personal question and maybe, just maybe, I could feel like maybe alot less wieght was haggering me down. 

I know he told me to call him at anytime but was nine at night even appropriate? But I really needed someone, the urge to go out and fuck was building up in me as I continued to go down the path of memory lane. Asking myself way to many unanswered questions. Most of all I was missing Laurence and he when got back from another late night at the office I knew it would be another bout of rejection which would probably drive me over the edge with the way I'm feeling now. 

I decided to call Laurence to see how far along he was in his work.

"Hey baby" Laurence's cheerful voice says through the phone and my stomach does a weird flip at the sound of his voice. Laurence has a beautiful tone of voice, it was expressive with a hint of mystery, and deep enough to have you imgaining how good it would be like to get whispered dirty things to.

"Hey L. how's work?" I ask with an equal cheerfullness. I really do love this man. 

"Long D. way to long." He sighs and I could just picture him running his hands through those soft locks of his. "I know I said I would be home soon but this business proposal is taking longer than I thought.  I mean this client is huge and if we land them we could really boom."

"Hun you already boom" I tell him because it was the truth. Him and his family were loaded. 

"Yea I know babe but you know how my father gets. A client is a client and if we land this one the rest will come running." 

"Okay so when do you think you should be getting home?" I ask already anticipating a late night.

"Late babe. I probably won't be home till midnight so don't bother cooking dinner I'll grab something  on the way home. Will I see you in bed tonight?" He asks softly and I hestitate. I had a seperate room for a reason. Sometimes being near him and knowing that he would reject all my sexual advances was beyond tough. But if he has a late night and I'm able to have a more relaxing talk with the doctor than maybe it would help me endure a sexless, spooning night.