Erase Herゾごホ

アヒルに餌をやる - feeding the ducks

What were my options? Surgery. Rehabilitation and therapy. Medication. How long had it been since I was told my brain was inconceivable mush?

Seven days?

Seven days without progressing my research, seven days without even opening the book I was given. What was the point if I couldn't read it for longer than thirty minutes?

Maybe is was nine days?

Ten?

Days seem to fade together now. I'm not sure if that's because of the damage to my brain or my lack of motivation to do anything except lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, wondering what my life could've been if I hadn't ran into that crumbling building that fateful day. Why does my life always seem to be the hardest? The most painful? I get a taste of happiness. And before I could even familiarize myself with the feeling on my tongue, it was taken away from me and replaced with more and more hardship. Something I was used to at this point. But it just didn't seem fair anymore.

Maybe it was sixteen days.

"Why are we here?" I asked quietly as I watched Shota toss pieces of stale bread into a pond filled with ducks.

"Ducks have to eat too." He muttered, handing me a slice. I stared at it, not even having the strength to wrap my fingers around the fluffy food. I let out a sigh, blowing strands of (h/c) out of my face. He frowned, retracting his offer with a sadness lurking in his eyes. "You could use the fresh air." I glared at the man at my side, crossing my arms with a scowl as I watched the brown spotted ducks fight over a rather big piece floating in between them. "It's been a week, (y/n)." Ah, so it was seven days.

"I don't care." I spat, finding myself feeling rather snappy. Shota rose an eyebrow at my tone, tearing off another piece of bread.

"You haven't talked about it."

"That's because there is nothing to talk about, Shota!" I shouted, I was angry. I was furious. Angry at the world, at whoever thought it was funny to fuck with my life so recklessly. "This is my life now! I will forever be this fucking broken!" Tears formed in my eyes as I blinked, running the sleeve of my sweater against my already red cheek. It's only a matter of time before Shota leaves me, I don't blame him. Who wants a cripple for a girlfriend? Someone who is broken and can not be fixed?

"All boundaries are self imposed." Shota spoke, looking over his shoulder at me. "Someone wise once told me that."

"Well obviously that person wasn't in a fucking wheelchair." I scoffed. Shota chuckled, placing a hand atop my head and messing my hair around a bit. I scrunched up my nose, staring at him through tussled threads of (h/c). His hair tied back into a loose bun, the sleeves of his grey sweater rolled to his elbows, and a smirk on his lips.

"Weren't you the one who said you'd walk again?" He asked, chucking more bread into the water. My mouth pressed into a tight line, as I inhaled deeply. Yeah, but I'm tired Shota. I'm tired of getting up after being knocked down so many times. I'm tired of my hands shaking so hard I can't even rewire the most basic of things. I'm tired of the words on paper blurring together, my head aching after staring at said words for twenty two minutes. I'm tired of finding the light in all these hopelessly dark situations.

"I-." I began to speak, my words being cut short by a higher pitched voice.

"Eraserhead lady!"

My eyes widened at the sound of her voice, turning myself around to see the small figure sprinting towards me. Of course I knew who she was, even though she looked so different in the light of day. She had black hair, pulled into pigtails, and greenish eyes that reminded me of a body of water covered by moss in the most beautiful way. Things I never noticed that day, trapped in a lightless crumbling building you can't really blame me. My eyebrows furrowed together, my lips twitching, wanting to scream out her name as an unfamiliar pain formed in my chest. I didn't even know her name, she didn't know mine, but here we were achingly reaching out for one another until the small girl launched herself forward without any fear. Her arms wrapping around my waist, her face burying itself in my sweater. I didn't hesitate to take her in my arms, my hands cradling the back of her head, my fingers combing through her dark hair as tears brimmed my (e/c) eyes. "Eraserhead Lady." She mumbled into my stomach, her face covered but her voice shaking gently. I let out a small breath, squeezing her tighter.

"I'm so happy you're okay." I whispered, watching as she pulled away with a grin and old tears scrolling down her rosy cheeks. I glanced at her arm, a nasty scar running down her forearm where I had made the cut to insert my chip months ago. I frowned, feeling the remembrances of that day shake me to my core.

"Only because you saved me, Eraserhead Lady."

"(Y/n)." I laughed softly, "My name is (y/n)."

"(Y/n)? I'm Umi!" She introduced herself, her hands wrapping around mine as she jumped up and down.

"Umi." A soft voice called out. My gaze drifted behind Umi at the older woman with duller green eyes and longer black hair cascading down her shoulders.

"Yes!" Umi nodded, stepping backwards and bowing her head. "Thank you very much for saving me." I blinked, as the woman bowed before me as well.

"Ah. You don't need to.." I began, my hands reaching out for the girl, my fingers brushing through her black hair and then hesitating.

'Mommy I'm scared!'

I shook my head, trying to stop the memories from flooding back as I stared at the girl before me. My eyes found their way back to the scar I had given her, not forgetting the way blood spilled from the wound as my scalpel pierced her pale skin.

'This might hurt...'

"(Y/n)." His gentle tone shook me from the past, and I glanced over back at Umi who was looking at me a bit confused.

"I'm sorry?" I stuttered, tucking my (h/c) behind my ears.

"I asked you what your hero name was." Umi stated, pointing at me.

"My hero name?"

"EraseHer." Shota answered for me. I looked up at Shota, who smirked at my questionable expression.

"Eraser?"

"Erase-Her." Shota repeated, kneeling down to Umi's height.

"EraseHer! So cool! Just like your favorite hero, (y/n)!" Umi shouted, spinning in a circle with her hands outstretched. I felt a smile find its way back to my lips as I watched the girl in front of me.

"Pretty lame hero name, if I'm being honest." I chuckled, looking at the raven haired man behind Umi.

"If I have to deal with something as uncool as 'Eraserhead', it's only fair." Shota smirked as Umi became dizzy, losing her balance and catching herself mid fall on me. Her hands slammed down against my legs. She blinked, shaking her head as her big green eyes seemed to have finally realized I was in a wheelchair.

"Oh, are you hurt, EraseHer?" She asked, motioning to my legs.

"Umi." Her mother scolded and I smiled softly, waving a hand.

"I am." I admitted, my smile becoming a bit forced and pained. "I can't walk."

"You can't walk?" Umi asked, her voice shrinking in sadness as her fingers pressed against her chin. My lips parted and I swallowed hard, stubbornly trying to stop the words from escaping me.

"For now." I smirked, heading Shota let out a scoff as he rose to his feet, resuming his duty in feeding the ducks. "I'm going to fix my legs, just like I stopped your quirk that day." Umi's eyes widened, a grin spreading across her face as she nodded.

"I believe in you, (y/n)!" She beamed, giving me a thumbs up.

"I do too, Umi." I laughed, seeing out of the corner of my eye a particularly lanky man watching us as he tore off smaller pieces of bread. He smiled, not saying anything more.

I hate it when he's right.