Only A Kiss - boyxboy

Chapter 17 - How you really feel

The game was awesome. I think I was enjoying it more because Simon was there with me. Usually I am seeing it through a camera lense, but tonight it was all about fun. No work. Simon seemed to be enjoying it as well. 'You know, I don't often support particular teams but for some reason, Boston is making an impression on me.' No way! Same as me.

'I was just thinking that earlier! We must be psycho or something.'

'I think you me psychic you ninny.' He chuckled. 'Although psycho is probably correct for you.' I punched him in the arm for that comment.

There was an eruption of cheers as we scored a home run. 'Yes!' We hugged it out. I was becoming increasingly aware of our proximity throughout the night and it was unnerving. If I must admit, I get tingles whenever we touch and I don't know how to feel about it. I haven't really felt like this around anyone since... well in about 10 years if I am honest. The friendship I had with Simon sort of reminded me of Star. Maybe this was the friendship I had missed out on. I won't fuck it up this time though and end up kissing him. God, could you imagine!

After the game, Simon stopped me in the stands. 'I have another present for you but you sorta need to come to mine to get it.' Wow, I get to see his precious place. Finally! I didn't wanna seem to keen though.

'Sure, thats ok.'

When we arrived at his, I had no words really. It was part of one of those posh buildings with a doorman and everything. When we got into his elevator, he had to put a special key in the floor selection pad, then pressed the top button. Penthouse - how cool.

My mouth went wide again as we arrived inside his place. Palace more like. I had to stop looking goofy around him. It was very un-becoming of me. 'Nice digs'. I didn't know what else to say really. The colour scheme was purple and black, which wasn't as dark and moody as you would think.

'Oh, your present!' He went into a cupboard and produced a camera. What on earth? 'Say cheese!' And he pulled me into a hug and flashed the camera in our face a couple times. 'Be right back.'

I took a nose round. He had a nature magazine resting on his coffee table - I guess he was an outdoors guy, probably why he was so buff. There was no TV in the lounge area I noticed - just as well that we went round mine to watch games then.

He was taking a while and I was about to go in search of him when he finally came back out with a photo frame in his hand. 'Here you go, happy birthday.' It was the photo he had just taken of us in black and white. 'Now I am no expert but I wanted a photo of me and my best friend and thought you might like one as well.' It was wonderful. We looked really happy. I looked somewhat inquisitive staring at him smiling in the image, but happy none-the-less.

Shit. I liked Simon. I like-liked him. This photo was proof to me just how much. I looked like a man looking at his lover in the photo. Crap. I had tried denying my feelings towards men and women over the years. I hadn't really fancied the girls I had been dating, but I enjoyed their company. Truth was I hadn't really liked anyone that way since the holiday to California and we know how that one turned out.

I never thought of myself as gay because there was no other guys but maybe I am just the sort of person who needs to find someone special to be really into them. Now what the fuck do I do? I didn't really want to think about what this meant. So instead, I just started crying.

'Hey, whats wrong?' Simon turned my face towards his. 'You don't hate it do you?'

'No of course not, it's wonderful!' Shit, what do I tell him? Oh right, Jess! Perfect. 'I broke up with Jess today, about 5 minutes before you came round.'

'Oh man, I'm sorry. You should have said something you idiot.' He pulled me into a hug. He smelt nice. God, stop thinking like this Cas. No good will come of this, just like that holiday. He is your friend, your best friend and he clearly doesn't feel that way. He may be gay but not all gay guys fancy any guy they meet. And you will ruin your friendship.

'Can I just crash here tonight please? I need the company.' This was a dangerous idea but I had no one else and this is what friends were for.

'Sure, come this way.' He walked me into what I assume is his bedroom. 'You can have my bed. It's super comfortable and the TV is built into the end of the bed if you want to watch anything.'

'Can you er... stay in here with me for a while and watch something with me?' I wasn't ready to sleep yet and I didn't want to seem rude to him.

He sat on one side of the bed and raised the TV up. It was mega fancy - I had only seen TV's like this on, well, the actual TV. We sat and watched crap for a while when I began to get a little sleepy. I slumped down on the bed and ended up leaning against Simon. He moved away at first, unsure of what to do, but then came a bit closer and pulled me into a cuddle. I fell asleep instantly.

I woke up the next morning alone in the bed. 10am. Oh god I was late for work. He should have woke me! I made a frantic search for my wallet and stuff when I noticed a note on the pillow next to me. It said 'Don't worry about work, have a personal day. Feel free to hang around mine all day or whatever. Your boss.' Right, my boss. He was still my boss which did not help with my feelings. And a friend. This was getting really complicated.