Chapter 19 - In a hopeless place

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Simon tried calling me a few times over the weekend, even knocking on my door at some point but I just ignored him. 'Please Castiel, just open the door.' He Called out. But I remained silent. 'Cas, please, I think I'm falling in-'

'Go away, I don't want to see you!' I cried out. It wasn't true. I really wanted to see him but I didn't know what to do. I knew I was fucking up the friendship by not saying anything to him but what if we got together and it failed. That would be way worse than just losing whatever we had at the moment.

I needed time to think. I took a few days off work, but we already had a few issues lined up and ready to print so I didn't need to be there urgently. This week we were focusing on the launch issue and sales anyway.

I had no idea how to handle this situation. I was in love with my boss and I think he was about to admit he was falling in love with me to. But was this something we should do? I was coming to terms with the fact I may be gay, ok well the fact that I probably was most definitely gay. However, I had been in this situation before and was way to chicken to do anything about it.

I did need to speak to him but I wasn't ready to just yet. It was easy to avoid him at work as we had lots going on when I returned. When the initial busy-ness calmed down, he still hadn't really made any real attempt to speak to me. I think I had left it too late and hurt him too much. Now I didn't know what I should do.

For a couple of weeks, we just avoided each other as much as possible, speaking in short sentences when we had to. It was painful to do but I hoped we would be able to mend ourselves soon. I was about to pluck up the courage to invite him out for a drink one of the days when he was called away on urgent business to do with his company. I guess I had ran out of time for now.

I didn't have to worry too long about speaking to him as matters where taken out of my own hands when I recieved the call. I did the first thing I could think to do when I got the news.

Ring Ring. 'Hello Simon speaking.'

'Hi, its me Cas. I didn't know who else to call. It's my father...'

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