Good Omens Crowley and Aziraphale shorts--Ineffable Husbands PWPs and fluff

strange and unfathomably beautiful (Ineffable Wives)

Written for Waywarder in the Good Omens Event Server's Senior Prom. They asked for spicy historical ineffable wives with them/they pronouns.

"The new foreign princess in my son's harem has been asking after you, sweet tutor," said the Princess Neferure, God's Wife of Amun, Mistress of the Lands, Lady of Upper and Lower Egypt, Cousin of Pharoah Thutmose II, Daughter and acting Queen of Reigning Pharoah Hapshuset.

"After me, Nefi?" Aziraphale, bouncing the naked Thutmose III on their lap as they had his niece and mother before him. Humans were so nice when they were small. Chubby and round and... Thutmose spewed over Aziraphale's shoulder, and a slave girl hurried took the small Pharoah away as Aziraphale dabbed at their shoulder, discreetly miracling the mess away. "What would anyone want of a humble scholar?"

Neferure laughed. "You are a wonder for the ages, my Aziraphale. The woman scholar with moonlight hair and eyes as ever-changing as the Nile, who dandles princes and princesses on their lap but never ages, who has helped my mother guide the Kingdoms to their greatest authority. Who would not ask of you?"

"I suppose so," Aziraphale said, a bit guiltily. Of course, Gabriel's orders had been very clear. Guide Egypt to peace and prosperity. So Heaven could mess it up again a treacherous drawl in their mind that sounded suspiciously serpentine prodded, but Aziraphale had become good at ignoring that. Their place was not to question. Their place was to do their job as a Principality, guide nations and move on. How long had they been in Egypt again? It was so terribly comfortable here these days. No horrid plagues of locusts or boils, just music and intellectual company and...

"I think you would like these honey cakes," said Neferure. "Sweetest and richest I have ever tasted. I have some new wine, too. And I have some fascinating scrolls outlining local deities from across the seas, if you would be so kind as to give your advice?"

Just a few more years, then.

It was much later that afternoon that they thought to ask, "Dear lady, what is Thutmose's new wife like?" They wondered a little about the harem, about how they thought to be sent to marry a Pharaoh who may well mature well after they reached the age they couldn't bear heirs. Probably worse fates. They would be well-fed, entertained, never in need. Have company. Still...

Neferure shrugged her graceful shoulders. "No beauty, from what I have heard. Thin as a snake, with flat breasts and strange eyes like a snake, too. Her dancing is a wonder, though." The Princess paused thoughtfully. "Not skilled, but a wonder nonetheless."

Oh, dear.

"I think I might just check in on the Women's Palace," said Aziraphale.

"Hullo, angel." Crowley's eyes swept Aziraphale from head to toe, and they suddenly felt very revealed, tugging up their shoulder strap. Not that it made much difference, considering how translucent these linens were. They were suddenly very aware of how dark their nipples showed through the sheath, of how it hugged their breasts and the curve of their belly. "I like the new corporation."

Ridiculous to feel revealed, when Crowley was bathing. They had been stripped of every scrap of hair, the skin shining as if it had been just rubbed smooth with a pumice stone or a miracle, the lines of their head so clear and lovely that Aziraphale didn't find it within themselves to miss the flaming red hair. Even the lashes around the golden eyes had been plucked, and the eyes looked even more serpentine than usual, huge and golden above the long, lean body. The snake tattoo was more obvious without a shock of copper hair. Altogether Crowley looked more like a snake than a human, despite the gangling limbs and the small high breasts that were the only spots of softness on all those hard lines. Strange and unfathomably beautiful.