Secrets

Chapter 3

Immediately after my eyes close, I see his face. He's screaming at me, and like usual, slurring every word. I'm in the main hallway of my house that leads to the kitchen and living area, and I can see him at the end of the hallway. Once we make eye contact, he starts to approach me. It's like I'm glued to where I am, as I can't move out of the way of his attack. He's screaming abuse at me, "You're nothing! You'll never be anything! You're just a waste of space!" I can feel my whole body shaking, as he finally reaches me. It takes no time before his fist connects with my abdomen. I know this is just a dream, but it feels too real, as he continues to punch me harder and harder in my stomach. I'm quickly doubled over in pain, before falling to the ground unable to stand anymore. I hear cracks, as he further his attack. That's when he starts to kick me, and I can feel myself slipping into darkness. I force my eyes open, trying to fight back, but I see his foot flying at my face. Before I can get any words out, everything goes black.

I shoot up in bed, as beads of sweat fall down my face soaking the sheets. I realize the light is on, and Alex is sitting in front of me. She has a concerned expression on her face, as she rests a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Hey, calm down, you're ok," Alex says with a soothing voice, and I'm pulled into her embrace. I can't remember the last time I was just held when I was sad, but I quickly melt into Alex's arms.

After I take a moment to catch my breath, I pull away from Alex and start to apologize, "Sorry, if I woke you up—"

"You don't have to apologize," Alex cuts me off, as she looks me up and down. Seeming to be making sure I'm physically uninjured, before she asks me, "What was your dream about?"

I take a deep breath, knowing I'm not going to tell her the full truth. "It's just another nightmare, nothing special," I shrug it off, trying to just get her to stop worrying.

I can tell she doesn't completely buy it, as all that comes out of her mouth is an, "Oh."

"Again, I'm so sorry for waking you up," I say, "But we should probably try to get some more rest." I look over at the clock to see it's only 4:13 am, and practice starts at 10 am.

Alex just nods her head before asking, "Are you sure you're ok?" The desperation in her voice practically begging me to spill my guts to her almost causes me to do just that, but I stop myself.

"Yup," I reply, forcing a small smile on my face to convince her. I can tell this doesn't completely sell her, but at least she makes her way back over to her own bed.

I can still feel her eyes burning holes through my closed lids before I hear her whisper, "Goodnight."

"More like good morning," I sarcastically reply, trying to lighten the mood.

Even though my eyes are closed I know Alex at least broke a smile, as she lets out a small laugh, "You're right, good morning then, but go back to bed."

I chuckle, as the room turns silent. I know there's no way I'm going to fall back asleep, not wanting the possibility of facing dreams again. So I wait for Alex's breath to fall even, letting me know she's fallen back asleep. I look at the clock to see it's already 4:45 am and think it's not too early to get up. So I silently slip off my pajamas that consist of a still sweaty oversized t-shirt and grey sweats and replace them with a pair of black leggings and a dark green long sleeve work out shirt. I throw my dirty blonde hair into a messy bun, before leaving the hotel room. Seeing as it's only 5 am no one on the team is up yet, I decide to go for a short run.

I absolutely despise running, except when I need to blow off some steam, and right now I'm beyond angry. This trip was supposed to be fun, and a couple of weeks of freedom away from him. Freedom from the worry of coming home to his addiction and abuse, but of course he would follow me here. Maybe not physically, but mentally.