Sidemen Oneshots

I love you so much it hurts | MiniShaw

Ship: Harry x Simon

Summary: Simon realises that he's in love with Harry and he's not sure how to handle it.

Setting: Jj and Simon's apartment.

Warnings: Kinda angsty not gunna lie.

—

To be completely honest, which is something he doesn't do all that often especially since he fell in love with one of his friends, Simon isn't all that sure when it happened.

Falling in love with Harry that is.

It's not something he meant to do. He was so sure that everyone thought of Harry like that, maybe they do, it wouldn't surprise him all that much.

Harry just made people love him.

But realising he was, in fact, in love with one of his closest friends. One of the people that knew him better then anyone, was the scariest moment of his life.

It was the middle of summer a couple years ago and they were filming some video for the Sidemen channel.

They were all laughing at a joke that had Harry had made, he looked so proud of himself and he looked so pretty like that Simon couldn't stop staring.

And he found that he didn't really want to stop.

He didn't want to stop.

Simon could feel the panicked look on his face and if anyone else was paying attention they would see it too and holy shit he never wanted to stop looking at Harry.

He was just so beautiful.

He risked looking around to see if anyone had seen that his life had just fucking changed because not only did he find out that he was gay, or at least bi, but he was also in love with his best friend.

Jj was looking back at him with a knowing look as if he already knew, and he probably did he knew Simon better then he knew himself.

He looked like he'd been waiting for Simon to realise.

They didn't talk about it, not even after they finished the video or when everyone had gone home. It was like an unspoken agreement that they weren't going to talk about it.

And Simon was okay with that, didn't think he could talk if he wanted to. Not sure how to put how he feels into words

It was enough to know that Jj was okay with it, that Jj didn't hate him because he's not sure he could deal with that. With losing any of the guys.

Just because one of them was okay with it didn't mean the rest would be, he didn't want to risk that. Risk ruining the friendship that they had built. The family.

So he'd have to live with looking from afar, with hugs that he holds onto just a little long for it to be friendly and group hang outs instead of dates.

It was okay, it was good at least he got to spend time with Harry, got to be with him.

Even if it hurt, made his chest ache and his lungs burn because he wanted more, he needed more.

Sometimes it hurt so much he couldn't bare it.

—

"Si?" Jj knocked on his bedroom door before walking in, didn't bother waiting for a 'come in'.

Simon was still in bed, not asleep he doesn't sleep a lot anymore, covers pulled up and over his head. The blinds were still closed even if it was nearly midday.