// saiouma oneshots! \\

goodbye // angst // TW

"you're alone, kokichi, and you always will be."

what a nice way to end a relationship.

that's what ouma thought as he walked down the hall, holding in tears from hearing what saihara had just said to him.

saihara was, maybe, the only person who actually cared about him. he knew that. he just hadn't suspected that he'd break up with him, especially in such a cruel way.

ouma used to be chronically ill. in the mind. but saihara helped him through it, and the two boys were together for months.

that is, until gonta's execution.

ouma shut the door softly, to his own room, mind you, that he hadn't been in in months. he'd been staying with saihara.

he flopped onto the bed and let the dam break. he cried into his pillow, and felt something in the pillowcase..

a blade.

as soon as he touched it, he jumped back. his arms immediately got chills, and he started to pant.

what iS This fEelinG?

he took a deep breath. "i need to snap out of it..." he thought, "i havent relapsed in months. i can't ruin that now."

but, he did.

he took the blade into the bathroom, and locked the door. saihara had the key to his room, but not the bathroom. he wouldn't be able to get in. not that he would try, anyway. he didn't care.

but, he did.

as soon as ouma rolled up his sleeve, all the memories came running back.

morning, sleepyhead! you're finally up, shuichi!

one cut.

nice job, mister ultimate detective. that was a nice call, shuichi!

two cuts.

that's too bad... i really wanted your eyes to be on me.

i thought.. you didn't care about how i felt..?

that was a lie. yknow.. since i'm a liar.

ten cuts.

....

soon enough, he was out cold.

....

"kokichi?" saihara knocked at ouma's door. "kokichi, are you in there?"

no response.

saihara sighed. he pulled out ouma's room key, and twisted it into the keyhole.

"kokichi..?"

he wasn't in the main room, so the only place left would be..

the bathroom.

saihara shuddered. he hoped ouma was okay..

he softly knocked on the bathroom door. "..kokichi..? are you in there..?"