Catching Fire (reimagined: 18+)

Chapter 6 - The Capitol

After a morning of consoling Flavius, Octavia and Venia as they weep over me, trying to make me up ready for Cinna I feel exhausted before I even leave my bedroom. Finally, Cinna arrives and greets me with a knowing look and quickly relieves my prep team of their duties. I thank him, overly grateful to have some time away from people crying over my bad luck and, more pressingly, my inevitable death.

"I'm sorry about them. I did tell them to behave." He strolls casually in a circle around me taking in the work they've done before stopping in front of me, "You look well, girl on fire".

I smile knowing he must have been worried about me after watching me shrink away into nothingness on the Victory Tour. He pulls out a sleek tape measure – it's a shiny black and speckled with orange flames that twinkle in the light, "I had it made, to honour my work of art. To honour you."

"It's beautiful. Like everything you make." I say it before realising it sounds like I'm giving myself a compliment but I'm too exhausted to correct myself and I know Cinna would tell me not to talk badly about myself anyway. He unravels the tape measure in one swift motion and starts with taking measurements of my arms. I'm in nothing but a thin robe so there's no obstruction from him getting clear results, I let him do his work and close my eyes, leaning my head backwards ever so slightly so that I'm facing the ceiling. I feel him begin to measure my stomach and my muscles clench remembering the evidence I'm trying to hide. I open my eyes and slowly move my head back down to face him. He frowns and simply says "I'll have to undo all of those alterations from the Victory Tour. I'm glad you've got your appetite back, sweetie." He knows. He won't say it but he knows. Cinna has been dressing me for the past year, there's way no he thinks this is just from my new diet. And he heard the gossip on the Victory Tour. He knows.

"Sorry...to give you so much work, I mean." I try to make a joke of it but my voice reeks of sadness. Cinna's face softens and he cups my face in his hand gently.

"I'm always betting on you, girl on fire." I have to choke back the tears pooling in my eyes and the sobs climbing up my throat.

Cinna dresses me in silence. We both prefer it this way. What more is there to say. Cinna works his magic to make the somewhat tight-fitting outfit conceal my ever-growing secret. My stomach is still fairly small but for a girl raised on hardly enough food, any bulk is noticeable.

Peeta and I make it through the opening ceremony the same way we make it through the night, with our fingers tightly interlocked. That night we lie side by side and quietly talk about all the people we met today, the people we're going to have to kill in only a few days. Finnick, the heartthrob of the Capitol. Chaff, Haymitch's old friend and drinking buddy. Johanna, the loose cannon amongst the victors. Seeder, the woman who knew I'd want to know that Rue's family was safe. I can't help but cry myself to sleep, trying to muffle the sobs so as not to wake Peeta from his seemingly nightmare-free dreams.

The next day we go to training where I met Beetee and Wiress whom I am immediately fascinated by. I also have to deal with more comments from Johanna and Finnick both trying to get a rise out of me. At lunch I try to force down some soup and have to almost instantly retreat to the bathroom to throw up. I honestly don't know how I will make it through the first few days in the arena when I'll be going in already intensely dehydrated and fatigued.

After lunch I meet Mags whom I adore so intensely I can't imagine my time in the arena without her. I know Haymitch won't be happy which undoubtedly makes me want her as an ally even more. Days of training race by. I hang a dummy titled Seneca Crane for my skills test. Peeta pretends to be outraged in front of Effie and Haymitch but we giggle about it in bed that night and he tells me how much he loves me and how brave I am. I nod knowing he'll have to be the brave one for I'm taking the cowards way out and plan on keeping him alive instead.

I wake to a weeping Octavia standing in the doorway, the sight of me and Peeta asleep together is apparently too much for her. Cinna has sent the prep team to do a last minute fitting just to make sure my outfit is ready for the interviews tonight. I obediently stand and let them do their work all the while trying not to snap and scream at them to stop sniffling. Peeta orders hot tea to the room and watches on from the edge of the bed. Once they're gone we decide to take a picnic up to the roof and spend our last real day up there together. Peeta tells me that he wishes he could freeze this moment and live in it forever and because I know he'll have to, I simply tell him, ok.

Late afternoon rolls around and we're summoned down to prep for the interviews. When Cinna pulls out a wedding dress I almost start weeping but the anger that rises when he tells me that Snow personally requested it takes over and I stuff myself into the dress.

The interviews are interesting to watch and filled with rage whether its muted and controlled like Beetee who takes the intelligent angle of questioning the necessity of the Quarter Quell despite the Capitol residents outrage at losing most of its favourite victors. Or the outright screaming that Johanna goes for, cussing every other word and making her hatred for the Capitol known to all.

When it's my turn, and Cinna signals for me to twirl, my dress melts away in flames and I am left in a much lighter (and much more revealing) Mockingjay dress. My eyes flash down to my stomach, afraid that my secret has been revealed to all of Panem but Cinna made sure that the dress hung perfectly on my frame, cleverly concealing my swollen belly. There's a reason he's the most popular stylist in the Capitol right now.

I go to stand with the other Victors on the podium lining the back of the stage and Peeta walks confidently over to Caesar Flickerman. They joke around as if they're old friends, Peeta bringing his natural likeability back to the screens of the Capitol and I can't help but glow with pride.

"Now, Peeta! I must talk to you about the wedding of the century that we were all looking forward to so much, so very sad we didn't get to see you two walk down the aisle!"

"Yes, Caesar. That is sad we didn't get to share the wedding with you all but, the thing is" everyone draws a breath, waiting for Peeta to drop the bomb "we did actually get married." Gasps from throughout the audience and Caesar throws himself back in his chair as if physically moved by the news of a secret wedding between the star-crossed lovers.

"A secret wedding! Tell us more, Peeta!"

"Once we heard the news about the Quarter Quell, we decided we didn't want to wait so we got married back in 12" Peeta explains the tradition of the Toasting that comes from 12. I can't help but feel protective, as if he's sharing something that I don't want the Capitol to have.

"Well," Caesar pats Peeta's knee in a comforting sort of way "I'm glad you two got to have a wedding after all, even if we did all miss out on it!" he looks to the audience stirring a cheer out of them.

"Yeah. And I would be happy about it if..." He's done it again, got everyone hanging on his every word. Even I find myself leaning in, waiting to see what he has to say. What is he going to say? "...if it wasn't for the baby."

My jaw drops open for a moment before I remember that I'm on camera and try to compose myself. My hand instinctively goes to my bump as if to protect it from the onlookers. Those onlookers being all of Panem. I cannot appear like I didn't know what he's going to say even though I didn't even know that he knew the baby existed. Then it all clicks and I feel stupid for considering for a second that he didn't know. For thinking that I could keep this from him. Of course he knows. He was waiting for me, his ridiculously stubborn star-crossed lover to admit it. Not to him, but to myself. And with my interview being my last chance to save myself, he did it for me, like he always does. 

I find Haymitch in the audience who is pouring a flask down his throat, I wish I could jump off the stage and join him. The audience has erupted into complete chaos despite Caesar's efforts to regain control. People scream out for the games to be called off. The atmosphere has changed in an instant, and Peeta might have just saved us all. 

He comes to stand beside me and locks his fingers into mine. My anchor. We lock eyes and he mouths I'm sorry. And I know that he is. I know he's only trying to protect me. To protect us. Without thinking I reach out my spare arm to Chaff who is standing beside me and take hold of his stump where his hand used to be and in a matter of seconds all of the tributes stand, united. Is this enough? Did Peeta really just save us? Does our baby get to live?