Catching Fire (reimagined: 18+)

Chapter 9 - After.

****This takes place after the end of Catching Fire but before Mockinjay. Katniss has been saved from the arena by the rebels. Peeta has been captured by the Capitol. District 12 has been destroyed.****

Gale sits beside my bed for the next few hours. I lay there. Silent and unmoving. I think there comes a point where a person can't feel pain anymore because all I am is numb and I don't think it has anything to do with the drugs.

My lack of cooperation to even groan when something hurts, like the needles in my arm, means they start to wean me off of the sedative and everything start becoming a lot clearer. I hate them for it. Because it reminds me of someone I've forgotten to ask about, someone nobody has thought to mention. The baby.

They probably consider me too fragile at the moment and I know Haymitch knew of my plans to die in that arena even if it meant taking the baby with me. I roll my head to the side to face Gale who is staring intensely at the ground, deep in thought. I flit my eyes around to see if there's anyone else I can ask, it feels like a low blow to ask him. I can hear Finnick weeping in the next bed behind the curtain and can hear the beeping of Beetee's army of machines across from me but there's nothing to indicate that he's conscious. So Gale is my only option and I'm almost glad for the numb feeling in my chest because otherwise I wouldn't be able to stand seeing his face drop as I say "The baby?" in a weak voice.

"It's fine, Catnip. It's alive." He gives me a small smile, its warm, as if he's genuinely happy about it.

I, on the other hand, don't know how to feel. I wasn't planning on living which, in turn, meant I didn't plan on ever having this child. But now it's here. It's really here. And Peeta isn't. Fear surges through me and I start to miss the numbness. Gale takes hold of my hand and gives it a comforting squeeze.

"You know, Prim is so excited. She can't wait to be an aunt." Says Gale, moving his chair a bit closer to the bed so he can talk to me in a whisper. "She hasn't stopped talking about the baby ever since she found out."

"Really?" I croak out, the tears are starting to surface now and I can't tell if they're out of sadness or happiness.

"Yeah! In fact, everyone I've talked to is so happy about it. Of course, at the moment they're not sure if you're both..." he trails off.

"Alive." I finish the sentence for him since he seems to be reliving something in his mind. He comes back to me, the glaze over his eyes disappearing.

"We're going to get Peeta back to you. I promise." I want to believe him. But it seems like all this past year has been full of is people breaking their promises. Haymitch breaking his promise to me about saving Peeta. Snow breaking his promise to the Victors that if you win you never go back into the arena. Me breaking my promise to Peeta, to keep him alive. To keep him safe. To let him be the parent in this life.

Gale stays with me for the rest of the journey to District 13. When we get there and I'm told its underground, that we have to travel deep down into the earth to get to everyone I lose it and have to be sedated again.

When I come to, Prim replaces Gale at my bedside. She smiles so big I can't help but smile back. She throws her arms across me and I feel her weight press down on my chest. My little duck, she's gotten so big. As soon as my mother hears that I'm awake she comes running, she's working as a nurse in 13's hospital and comes by to check on me and Prim every chance she gets.

Prim talks to me about the baby and I do my best to match her excitement but truthfully I'm scared beyond comprehension. My mother seems to know this and only talks to me about the baby in medical terms, like telling me that the heartbeat is strong.

At night when everything goes quiet I pull the cover up over my head and curl into a ball so that my face is looking down at my stomach. I try to understand how Peeta's baby is growing inside me. How in a few months there will be a new human on this earth for me to try and protect. For me to lose.

I reach into the draw beside my hospital bed, the one that holds my personal belongings. The items I had on me when I was lifted from the arena. Peeta's necklace and the pearl he gave me. I haven't looked at them since arriving and so hidden under the covers I click the latch and open the locket to find the photo of Gale has been replaced with one of Peeta. I silently thank Gale, for I know this is his doing, for giving me back the boy with the bread as he promised he would.