still with you

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this is the part two for 'someone could love you more' 

lan zhan woke up with a lingering feeling of pain in his chest and a faint memory of his lover's goodbye with a kiss on his forehead.

or 

though our steps may not align with each other, i'll still want to walk this path with you.


a scorching headache sat at the back of his head when lan zhan awoke from his slumber. as always, he didn't make a single noise of complaint and tried to sit up without disturbing his sleeping lover instead. once his eyes adjusted to the still relatively dark room, he looked to the side, to admire wei ying, when his face looked the most relaxed and the least troubled. empty sheets stared back at him. the pain in his head transferred into his stomach and onto his chest and lan zhan knew for sure, something wasn't right. he systematically checked the other rooms, telling himself not to freak out. he clung to the possibility, that it was one of the rare mornings, on which wei ying woke up earlier than him and went out to buy breakfast for them. lan zhan somehow knew that wasn't the case this time, but he still hoped until the wei ying's alarm rang at 9 a.m. he had sat in silence in their empty apartment for the last four hours, waiting for his love to return with milk tea and still warm croissants. he didn't come and even lan zhan knew now, that waiting was pointless. 

before he could fall apart, he picked up his phone and called the number he knew by heart. the call sign resonated a few times, until he was connected to voice mail. lan zhan closed his eyes, when he heard the familiar, excited voice he was longing for so much. "hello, hello, this is wei wuxian, the great yiling patriarch, haha. i can't pick up right now, but i'll get back to you as soon as i can if you leave a message after the sound. lan zhan, if it's you, just wanna tell you, i love yo-" tears welled up in his eyes and lan zhan took in a deep breath. he remembered how wei ying had explained to him that huaisang had taken the phone and ended the recording, before wei ying could turn into a cheese ball. the memory hurt. it cut like a tiny, sharp scalpel into his skin. 

what had happened? where was his boyfriend? lan zhan had a faint idea of what had happened, but he didn't want to assume too much, before he had more clues about what was going on. instead of putting himself through the suffering of hearing wei ying's recorded voice again, he called his brother. "brother, i hope i am not disturbing you." he started, suppressing the tremble in his voice. " wangji, how nice to hear from you! of course, you're not disturbing me! guangyao and i just returned from the lawyer." right, his brother was trying to get a marriage license. lan zhan couldn't help but feel his tone getting a lot softer. he was incredibly happy for xichen to have found his soulmate and to be able to start a family with him. there was no one more fitting than his brother's old friend from high school who he had always hopelessly crushed on, but now, twenty years later, finally had found the courage to ask out. and, as expected, it worked out well. they had been dating for three and a half years now and xichen had recently proposed to his younger boyfriend.

"that is good to hear." lan zhan continued, the damn tremble just not wanting to disappear, "i fear, i have reasons to believe that something happened to wei ying. he has disappeared from home." he cut straight to the point. he heard two sharp intakes of breath on the other line, which meant that guangyao was also listening. lan zhan didn't mind, if wei ying was hear he'd let him hear any conversation with his brother, too. the smaller loved throwing in random comments or laughed way too hard on some dumb joke xichen had made. god, how much he missed him and it has only been half a day since he last saw him. it was just this uncertainty about when they'd meet again, that caused his strong anxiety. he always missed wei ying, whenever they separated for work, but it was the good kind of missing, the one where he couldn't wait to get home and engulf his love in a hug. 

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