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"I'm starting the movie in five minutes whether you're in here or not" Buck threatened from the living room while I stood in my kitchen.
"You can't give me an ultimatum like that when I'm in here making you snacks!" I yelled back jokingly.
"Fine, but hurry up" he laughed.
I finished quickly and brought the snacks to the living room.
"About time" he chuckled.
"You have a very interesting choice of words for the person who constantly feeds you and keeps you out of trouble" I joked sitting on the couch next to him.
"I'm sorry and I love you" he smiled kissing my cheek.
"Yeah, yeah" I said rolling my eyes.
Those words hurt more than he would probably ever know. I loved Buck too, just not in the same way. He loved me like a true friend, someone that he knew would always stand by him and I was in love with him.
About halfway through the movie was when the night went sour.
"Abby would love this movie, I'm going to have to make her watch it when she comes back" he smiled at me.
"If she comes back" I said lightly.
"What do you mean?" He seemed irritated.
"You know, I mean if she decides to come back after everything" I shrugged.
"Why are you always so negative about this?" He rose his voice.
"I'm not being negative I'm just saying that-" I started before he cut me off.
"That my girlfriend is never coming back" he snapped.
"Is she still even your girlfriend? I mean she's been gone so long and-" he cut me off again.
"Why are you so set in thinking that she's not coming back?" He yelled.
"I'm not I just think-" again he cut me off.
"No tell me, why are you dead set in thinking Abby is never coming back?" He stared at me his eyes burning through me. "Do you just not want me to be happy? Is that what-"
"No! Buck stop, you know that's not the case it's the complete opposite. You know all I want is for you to be happy I just..." I trailed off, I didn't know how to proceed.
"Just what, Y/N? Just what?" He snapped again.
"I love you, you idiot" I finally yelled. He stopped and looked at me stunned, his demeanor completely changing. "I'm in love with you. Haven't you caught on by now? I'm so in love with you it hurts. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. You're my everything, I'd do anything for you. I just want you to be happy, even if that means it's without me." I grabbed my jacket and keys and made my way to the door.
I had to get out of there, the air was too heavy and the tension too thick. I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe and tears were spilling from my eyes. I stopped at the door and turned to look at Buck again.
"For me, it's always been you Buck, and it always will be. I would never leave you, but I hope Abby comes back and you get your happily ever after, I'm sorry I won't be around to see it" I said through my tears as I slowly shut the door behind me. I heard him calling my name but I didn't stop or even look back.
When I eventually returned home it was almost like Buck had never even been there. Every trace of him was gone, it felt empty.
The next few days were odd. I tried to push out of my mind what had happened but not talking to Buck made it prominent that something was missing from my life. I missed my friend and I ruined our friendship.
I took a few days off from work just to gather both myself and my thoughts. I was two days deep into binge watching a show and binge eating fried foods and pure sugar when there was a knock at my door.
I groaned. I didn't want to get up from the couch, I didn't feel like seeing anyone let along have to interact with someone. I reluctantly pulled myself to my feet and opened the door.
I was honestly a little shocked to see Buck on the other side of the door. The only thing I could do to protect myself was to close the door. He stopped it with his hand and pushed it back open.
"Y/N look, you don't have to talk just...listen" he started, a solemn look on his face.
"Well, go ahead then, talk" I said crossing my arms. I had no idea why I felt anger but in that moment it consumed me.
"I want to start with I'm sorry" he said rubbing the back of his head. "And I want you to be around for my happily ever after"
"Buck I can't I just-" I started before he cut me off.
"Y/N, just listen. Let me finish" I motioned for him to continue.
"I need you around for my happily ever after Y/N, there is no happily ever after without you" he stared at me for awhile. When I thought it was safe to talk, I did.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"I love you, you idiot" he started with a laugh. "You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I'd do anything for you because you are my everything too and I want you to be happy...with me" he grabbed both of my hands.
"You remembered" I breathed.
"Your words were the only thing I've thought about the past few days" he started to pull me to him.
"But Abby" I stood my ground to stop him.
"I understand what you were saying, she's probably not coming back. She shouldn't have left in the first place. You were right, you wouldn't have left me, you wouldn't have hurt me. For me it's always been you too Y/N, I just needed to get a little roughed up to realize it."
"I don't want to be someone you just settle for Buck, that hurts just as much" I crossed my arms again and turned away from him to hide the fact that tears were trying to escape.
"Hey" he put his hand under my chin to bring me to look at him. "I'm settling for nothing less than my happily ever after"
There was a few second pause before he tried to bring my lips to his and this time, I let him.
