Kabanata 20
Stop
I was so tired that night. We ordered food and ate after that shower. He even had failed attempts to put compress on my hickeys. Pati na rin sa kanya, at hindi ko siya tinulungan doon. Mine, I can cover it with myh clothes. His... that's his problem.
I smirked as I watch him glaring at me after he gave up his compress.
"I can choose your outfit tomorrow, if you want? Para matabunan 'yan..." I chuckled as I drank my camomile tea.
Tapos na kaming kumain at habang inaayos niya kanina ang compress, naghugas ako ng pinggan. Kaya ngayon, nandito kami sa counter table, nagtsa-tsaa ako. Siya naman abala sa compress para sa amin.
Kaya kinabukasan iyon nga ang ginawa ko. Tapos na akong mag-ayos para sa alis namin ngayon.
We decided to shop for me. And he also decided to shop for himself because of his hickeys. May turtle neck naman siya pero dahil hindi naman siya gumagamit noon unless pumupunta ng abroad, kaunti lang ang mayroon siya at mahihirapan siyang mamili ng isa para sa trabaho.
He can't go to work with just his usual dress shirt now. I can only imagine my father fixated on Royce's neck while they are on a meeting. He is very conservative when it comes to me. Iyon din yata ang rason kung bakit gaano man ako ka liberated at pakawala nang lumaki ako, nabaon pa rin sa isipan ko ang pangaral niya sa akin.
Mama said that there's nothing wrong with expressing myself and being free. That my body will always be mine and I have the choice on what to do with it. I just need to face the consequences after and be responsible with whatever path I take.
"Okay naman ah?" sambit ko nang nasa mall na kaming dalawa at nakasimangot si Royce.
He's wearing a dark green turtleneck longsleeves. I'm wearing printed white and green short dress with puff sleeves to pair with him. Para hindi na siya gaanong malungkot.
"And I'll have to wear this thing for tomorrow and next week."
Ngumisi ako. "Marami naman tayong binili. And it can be paired with your suit, you know. Hindi kasing formal ng dress shirt mo but it's not bad."
Namili na rin ako ng damit. Kanina pa siya sunod nang sunod habang namimili ako. I then change on the fitting room. Maghihintay siya sa labas kasama ang shopper at titingnan kung okay ba iyon.
He always just nod. His eyes were dark as it bore into me after changing into a very conservative office dress.
"Lagi na lang ganyan? Any other comment? Is it too manang? Ano?" singil ko ng kumento.
Ngumiti ang nag-aabang na shopper at bumaling kay Royce.
"I have no other things to say. It's fine."
"Fine is not good enough, Royce..." nakapamaywang na ako habang tinitingnan siya.
Nagkamot siya ng ulo at tinitigan pa lalo ang damit ko, para bang may milagrong kumentong lalabas doon kung tititigan niya.
"I find you hot so, I think whatever you wear... you're always hot."
Tinabunan noong shopper ang kanyang bibig noong folder na dala niya. Umiling ako at tinawanan na lang ang sinabi ni Royce bago sinarado ang kurtina.
I sighed and looked at myself.
I am slightly foreign-looking because of my father. Kita iyon sa buhok pa lang na wavy at kulay brown. It was lighter when I was a kid. Blonde iyon noon at ngayon, kulay brown na nang tumanda. My eyes are almond shaped like both my mother and father. Nose, more like my mom's, narrow and straight. My lips are thin like my dad's. At kung sa katawan, masasabi kong sa tangkad at hubog, walang effort akong makakapasok sa pagmomodelo.
