"Oh, thank God," I mutter, turning the light on.
From above, I can hear Colby moving around toward the front door. Hopefully he's not tracking dirt everywhere because that will be a nightmare to clean up.
I look around toward the corners but don't see a shop vac. I look under the blankets like Colby said but see nothing. "Where the hell are you, shop vac?" I call out, hoping the machinery will make itself known. I take a few minutes to look around but Colby really doesn't have much in the storage room besides some random tools, painting supplies, and wood. Makes sense since he works in construction.
"Hmm . . ." I tap my chin, take one more look and then head back into the main part of the apartment. When I reach the kitchen, I hear voices coming from the living room.
"Wow, it looks amazing in here." Sadie? She came inside?
"Thanks," Colby gruffs out. "I, uh, thought I would make it not look so sterile."
"You did an amazing job. It truly looks like a warm and inviting home in here, Colby."
"That's how I envisioned it." For some reason, his answer makes me feel ill. It's how he envisioned it. What does that mean? Did he mean when he bought the apartment for Sadie? Or did he envision it this way when trying to make it comfortable for me? This shouldn't matter, I shouldn't care, but with Sadie in the next room, walking through the place that was supposed to be hers—theirs—I have a sinking feeling it is the former.
I walk toward the dining room and peek around the wall, observing them for a second. Sadie is holding one of my nursing books—shit, I must have left it in the car in my haste to get the hell away from her probing questions—and Colby stands a few feet away, hands in his pockets, his eyes trained on her. His body language doesn't read stiff like I expected it to be. It's more natural, almost leaning in her direction.
"This is a little awkward." Sadie laughs, which causes Colby to laugh as well and then grab the back of his neck.
With a tilted head, he smiles at her and says, "It's good to see you, though."
My stomach sinks to the floor and my throat starts to clamp up. It's not the words, but the way he spoke them, with a rich, velvety tone that almost sounds grateful of her presence. Embarrassment and humility crashes into me like a wave of big, fat regret. Was I just dreaming these last few months? Was I living in the clouds, thinking that maybe, just maybe Colby would actually get over Sadie, and find comfort and love with me? Did I even stand a chance?
I clamp my arms around my stomach and shift my feet, trying not to feel sick. When I shift, the floor creaks, drawing their attention. Sadie makes eye contact with me and smiles. "Hey, girl. You left your book in my car. Thought you might need it."
Putting on a bright smile and avoiding all eye contact with Colby, I walk up to Sadie and take the book while saying thank you. "Yeah, I would have missed this one tonight."
"Oh, I'm glad I brought it back tonight instead of trying to find you tomorrow." Sadie folds her hands together and looks around one last time. "I better get . . . oh, look, these are cute." She walks up to the fireplace and I squeeze my eyes shut. Shit, the picture frames. "Wh—" Sadie whips around toward me and whispers behind her hand. "You're with Colby?"
Crap. I could say no, but the picture of Colby kissing me on the cheek is a dead giveaway. Instead of lying, I nod my head.
"You two are dating?" This time Sadie turns to Colby who is still pulling on the back of his neck, but with more force now.
"I mean, we're kind of just having fun," Colby answers, avoiding all kinds of eye contact.
Excuse me?
Just having fun?
This time I look at Colby. He glances at me, regret in his eyes. Yeah, you better regret that little statement. Or maybe he won't. Maybe he wants me to know this about us.
Angry, frustrated, and hurt, I squeeze my book to my chest and say, "Yeah, just having fun. Nothing to worry about, Sadie. I would love to hash this out with you, but I really should get to studying." I turn away when I realize I should probably apologize. "I'm sorry for not telling you earlier and stepping over my best-friend boundaries. I should have thought about the repercussions before entering into something so casual." That last jab was for Colby. A part of me really hopes it hurts him but from the way he's looking at Sadie . . .
He still loves her.
He's not over her.
From the look on his face, it probably didn't have the impact I wish it did. We're kind of just having fun. "Thanks for returning my book."
I give her a small wave and go straight to my room, making sure to dodge the broken pot on the ground.
Once my door is shut, I sink to the floor and put my head in my hands as tears start to fall from my eyes, a waterfall of pain and regret cascading past my fingers. What was I thinking starting something with Colby? A great pair of abs, a gentle heart, and a caring soul swept me up into his arms, took me for an unforgettable ride, and just when I thought everything was going to work out for the long haul, I'm reminded of my rose-colored glasses. Rose-colored glasses that have blinded me to the truth.
Sadie. It's always been Sadie. And I'm not mad at her; I don't blame her for anything. They have history. So much history that of course, it would be impossible for Colby to overcome that pull. No one will come between that for him. I should have seen it from the beginning, but I had too much hope for what could be between us.
Logan was right. And as I sit here feeling my heart ripping into thousands of pieces, I despise having to admit that.
I'll never be Colby Brock's girl.
That door is closed.
