"We did it!" Adalyn shouts, hands in the air as she runs in place in excitement.
"Does this mean you can take my pulse and be accurate?" Brennen asks as he looks between Adalyn, Logan, and me.
Adalyn stops mid run and gives Brennen a pointed look. "If you can't take your own pulse you shouldn't be a functioning member of society."
"I get nervous I won't be able to find one. I don't want to be dead."
Logan grips Brennen on the shoulder. "If you're able to feel around for a pulse, you're not dead, man."
Unable to concentrate on the banter, I look around the sea of people, trying to spot any semblance of the man I desperately want to see. For some reason, I thought maybe, just maybe he would show up for my graduation. But since he's not with Brennen, my hope is quickly vanishing.
My parents have already left for their car so they aren't stuck in traffic forever. We have plans to go to dinner later. But before they left, we took our pictures, they kissed me on the cheek, and my dad slipped a check in my pocket. Classic Dad.
Sadie and Andrew sent me a huge bouquet of flowers, which brought tears to my eyes.
Sadie.
Before I received that first note from Colby, while I was still feeling so confused, lost, and bereft, Sadie visited me. She told me that she understood why I'd felt I couldn't tell her about our relationship. There was no anger, no malice, just a hint of sadness. But not for herself. For me. For Colby.
She also said something very surprising. When she had looked at that picture of the two of us on the mantle, she had nearly cried. Not because she still loved and wanted Colby, but because she saw Andrew in Colby's expression. She'd been shocked, naturally, but she'd also felt relief. She'd never seen that look in Colby's face before, and that was when she knew he was finally on his road to recovery. That was when she knew he was going to be okay. She held me as I cried for what seemed like hours. When she left, she told me to not lose hope. "Emma, there is no doubt in my mind that Colby is in love with you. When he used to look at me, his expression was always one of neediness." Picking up my favorite photo she said, "This man hugging you? I haven't met this man. But I saw the potential in the boy with the sad eyes. I saw that despite the horrendous shit he'd been handed in life, he fought. He fought to hold on to me, because that is the faithful, adoring man inside him. He fought to be brilliant in his job, because he takes pride in everything he does. He's been preparing all his life to be the best at everything he does, and you, my beautiful friend, will be the one who benefits from the hard knocks he's experienced. He will give you his soul, his heart, his love."
Now, after the weeks of focused Colby loving, I know those words are true, but standing here feeling excited about my achievement, I can't help feeling desperately sad as well. I have his soul, his heart, and his love, which for this moment, might need to be enough.
Brennen must notice my searching because he comes up next to me and pulls a card out of his back pocket. "Sorry, Emma. He wanted to be here."
That's when my heart falls.
He's not coming.
Resigned, I give Brennen the best smile I can muster and take the card. While Adalyn takes pictures with Logan, I open the card. At least I'll have his words today. I don't know how he's managed to get them all to me via Brennen, especially the incredible timing. The effort that's gone into it, the time. And for brennen to also be so invested . . . Colby's so incredible. How I wish I could hold him and tell him thank you. And I love you.
When I open it, it's completely blank. I turn the card around, look in the envelope for anything I may have missed, but when I don't see anything, I turn to Brennen to see if he gave me the wrong card. I know he wouldn't do it on purpose, but he's had to do so much in the last few weeks.
That's when I see a giant bouquet of roses coming toward me and right behind them is the man of my dreams.
