this changes everything. ⟲ wangxian

15. The Ambush

Cuz I keep digging myself down deeper,
I won't stop till I get where you are.
§
I keep running when both my feet hurt,
I won't stop till I get where you are.

Wangji stands at the balcony of Cloud Recesses's Elegance Chamber, his sword gripped tightly in his right hand. He's tempted to exercise his swordsmanship, but he knows he shouldn't. It's been a week since Lady Yang came to Cloud Recesses and told them to find Wei Ying... they still haven't found him.

Wangji is still not healing.

He stands on the balcony in the early morning, the sun not yet hot, the trees not yet awake with the wind. He is formally dressed and waiting.

Footsteps sound behind him. His grip tightens on his sword; he stiffens with anticipation.

Gu Meiyou bows, "Your Excellency."

Wangji turns and bows back without looking at her. He knows that if he does, his heart will hurt, "Lady."

She smiles, "I was glad to hear from you. I mean—it's an honour to be able to meet you again."

Wangji doesn't reply.

"How are you healing, Your Excellency? Have you been resting well?"

"I'm fine."

"I see... these beautiful mornings probably improve your temperament, don't they? To be honest, I was surprised that you called to meet this early in the day. I'm usually awake this time myself. I spend every morning either in the library of my home or with my harp... I heard you play the Qin very well."

Wangji doesn't reply.

Silence falls over them. Gu Meiyou glances over at Hanguang Jun, her eyes shifting uneasily. She starts, "So... uhh... perhaps we should eat something? Have you had breakfast yet, Your Excellency?"

"No."

"Well, we should then! Forgive me for imposing this first, but I've just had an idea that—if it works with Your Excellency—we could meet every other morning like this for a morning meal.... I could play you my harp. I know a few Songs of Clarity myself. They would help ease your mind and soul."

Wangji already knows every Song of Clarity in the book. He can play all of them for himself, make them work on himself, by himself. He doesn't need her to do it—

He answers, "That would be much appreciated."

Gu Meiyou beams, "May we discuss the details of our meetings in later letters?"

Wangji turns to face her, staring into her eyes for a long moment. In a single breath, he mutters, "Yes."

•••

Meiyou finds Hanguang Jun attractive, indeed. Physically and emotionally. There's something about him that has always stirred interest in her... she would watch from afar at ceremonies and parties, as the whole room bowed to his unwavering elegance. She was so happy when her father told her news that she'd be marrying him. That mysterious, tender-looking man across the room... she is embarrassed to admit how happy she was.

And yet.

When he looks at her, his eyes are hollow. Glassy, emotionless, far away. He seems to be looking straight past her all the time. Why? His eyes narrow on a spot beyond her, through her eyes and body and soul... every time she's with him, he seems far away.

Meiyou wants to know what he's looking at. She wants to know why he's out of space all the time. Is it really just his illness talking? ...or is it something else?