10. To Disappoint Our Families

2.7K 192 52
                                    

"Chief Cultivator!"

Wangji stops in his tracks. He had been on his way from the Library back to his room; he didn't realise that the clan leaders were here today. Had Xichen told them everything already?

About the sacred love?

About Wei Ying?

Wangji turns around to face the clan leaders who had called him, mind awhir with thought. It's Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng.

Wangji bows to the noblemen. Huaisang and Jiang Cheng return the gesture.

Huaisang raises to his full height again, dumb eyes bright, "Hey, Hanguang Jun—we didn't think we would bump into you here. I mean, it's your home and all, but, uh—we come here for clan meetings and these past few months we haven't seen you at all."

"Forgive my absence."

"Heyy, don't worry about it!" Huaisang laughs. "Just, uhh, just get some rest, alright?"

Jiang Cheng is silent. He hasn't spoken since they've seen each other, but Wangji feels the Jiang Clan Leader's stare burning into him. Is there something he wants to say?

"I'll take my leave now," Wangji bows again. He doesn't meet their eyes.

"Ahh—yes! Okay. Thank you. Take care, Your Excellency," Huaisang sputters, dipping his head back.

Jiang Cheng finally speaks, "Get well soon."

Wangji halts, stunned at these words. It's not what he was expecting. He turns and realises there is a look of awkward gentleness on the Jiang Clan Leader's face.

"It's just... I realise, that's probably what Ah Xian would want," Jiang Cheng mutters. "If he was here, he would tell you the same thing."

No, Wangji wants to say. No, that's not what Wei Ying would say at all. He wouldn't tell me to get well soon. Maybe he would make a joke that if I don't get better, I'll bring great shame on my clan. Maybe he would call me weak. Maybe he would try to pester me into drinking, tell me liquor cures all kinds of illnesses, like love sickness and work sickness—and then he'd laugh at his own joke, because he thinks he's so funny. That's what Wei Ying would tell me if he were here.

Wangji doesn't say any of this. Instead, he bows. His tongue is heavy in his mouth. He turns and leaves the scene.

He can't think about Wei Ying now. He has a meeting with Gu Meiyou tomorrow.

•••

Gu Meiyou of the Yujing Gu Clan is beautiful, just like Xichen said. Small face, bright eyes, slim figure. She seems humble and courteous, smart and kind. She fits almost every requirement of the Gusu Lan Clan ideal wife.

And yet Wangji hates her.

"I'm thankful that this isn't an arranged marriage," she says. They sit cross-legged, across from each other at a table, sipping hot cups of tea. "My sisters and friends have all been placed in one. But... well, I was surprised that my father let me meet you first before the final decision is made."

"Lady, you are mistaken. This is an arranged marriage."

"Pardon?"

"It's an arranged marriage on your part. But the choice is up to me."

"....oh. I see. I should have realised that sooner. I must be out of my wits."

Silence.

"So—have you decided?" She stares at him, wide-eyed. "What will your choice be?"

"It's a no-go."

"What?"

Wangji stands up. He bows.

"Forgive me for taking up your time. I wish you a safe journey back. Tell the Gu Clan Leader I will recount the details of my decision in a letter tonight."

He turns to leave—and is surprised to hear her raise her voice behind him.

"Hey! Y-Your Excellency... wait."

Wangji stops in his tracks.

"... I... I, um... I don't mean to waste your time. Forgive me. I just want to say, I like you—not because you're the Chief Cultivator, and Hanguang Jun. I just like you... f-for other reasons... and, I hope you'll reconsider before you write that letter tonight. I don't know why you don't like me, but I promise I would be a good wife. And... I would be a good lover, too."

Wangji's hands tighten into painful fists. He wants to punch a door and let himself bleed into sawdust.

"You don't know anything about me yet. But, maybe if you gave me a chance—if you saw me more than once—then you would really get to know me, and you would like me. And then we wouldn't disappoint our families."

Silence follows.

"Just..." Wangji hears her swallow. "Think about it."

She bows. She turns and flees the room before he does, leaving him in there alone, frozen in spot. He relaxes his fists and the tension in them is replaced with a swelling ache that surrounds his heart. Wangji closes his eyes. Think about it, she had said.

Wangji hates himself for doing as she asks.

this changes everything. ⟲ wangxianWhere stories live. Discover now