baby bub

36

after the two cleaned up, they got dressed and laid back down in bed. calum was pressed tightly against ashtons side, and ashton had an arm around calum.

"hey, sweetheart?"

"yes, ashy?" calum whispers, looking up at ashton.

"i just want to talk to you about your stay with mikey and lukey. is that okay?" ashton says, keeping his voice soft and gentle. he still feels calum tense up.

"oh, okay."

"im so proud of you," ashton starts off, petting calums hair, "i know how anxious you were, and i know how you are. im so, so proud of you...but when little you said that you felt lost without me...what did you mean by that, sweetheart?"

sure, he heard little calums explanation for feeling lost, but he wanted to hear it from big boy calum.

"oh," calum says, clearing his throat, "well...i dont know, ash. it's like...you're always there for me. you can keep me in line. you guide me. i feel...i feel empty and lost when you arent there. i dont have any guidance and that fills me with anxiety. i dont know why."

calum laughs, "im sorry my separation anxiety is so bad. im sorry im shit at explaining this. the only thing i can say is when you arent there for me, im so empty, lost, and...i have so much anxiety."

"hmm," ashton hums, listening to calum carefully. he knew calum was always a little anxious, but he didnt know calums separation anxiety was so bad. bad to a point where ashton didnt know where or not to take calum to a doctor for him to prescribe a medication for it.

cause, the honest truth is that ashton wont always be by calums side. something else could happen, and they might have to separate for another couple days and who knows what would happen then. ashtons really thinking about taking calum to a doctor.

"im worried about your anxiety," ashton says softly, brushing some of calums curls away from his forehead.

"oh."

"why dont we make a doctors appointment, yeah?" ashton asks, "maybe they can prescribe you a higher dose of anxiety meds. or, they might want you to start taking them everyday, instead of just when you feel anxious." 

"ash," calum whines, "i hate pills. i dont want to take anything, and you know that."

"i know. but what happens the next time we have to separate and you have to be on your own? or maybe with lukey and mikey, and you don't have any medicine. look, all im trying to say is you know im always gonna be there for you, sweetheart, but there will be times where we have to be separated. i would rather you have good medications to make sure your anxiety is down, then to send you off and have you having anxiety attacks left and right."

calum doesn't say anything. the boy knows ashton is right. as much as he does not want to take any medicine, he knows it's what he has to do and especially if ashton wants him to...ashton keeps him in line, he would do most anything ashton told him to.

it's not like ashton is being mean about it, because ashton is his love and his light and is everything calum has ever known and loved. ashton wants what's best for him, and if taking a stupid pill is it...then it isnt a big deal.

"okay," calum whispers, snuggling back up against ashtons chest, "but we arent making an appointment until you're better and you're able to go."

"okay, deal."

"i love you," calum says, placing a soft kiss onto ashtons chest.

"i love you too, sweetheart," ashton whispers, smiling down at calum. calums smile widens as he hides his face from ashton.

"why dont you get some rest, sweetheart?" ashton says, "it's been a long day. i can imagine how tired you are."

"i dont wanna sleep just yet," calum says, "i just wanna lay here, with you, for a bit. please?"

"you can cuddle with me while you sleep," ashton says.

"it's not the same."

"calum, sweetie, i know how little you slept while i was gone. you've exhausted yourself. all day tomorrow is gonna be spent cuddling. hell, the next week or so is gonna mostly be cuddling. you know this. now come on, i didnt sleep well at the hospital and im tired. can we sleep?"

"okay, ashy. we can sleep."

"thank you, sweetheart. you know i love you with my whole heart."

"i love you too, ashy. now get some rest, mister grumpy pants!" calum says, giggling afterwards. ashton glares at calum for a couple seconds before starting to giggle along with calum.

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just a filler chapter, ig
comments? predictions?
unedited!!
love u!