Mistrust || Peter Parker

Eight

"Peter, are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course- why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't think you've let yourself relax once since I got here. At first I thought it was simply due to nerves but now I'm seeing it more as a posture of defense."

Peter looked away from Jordan and examined the way he was situated. He was seated at the edge of the couch and his muscles were just as rigid as they were in the first therapy session. He looked ready to attack at any given moment. He forcibly leaned back, positioning himself the way a normal person would.

"Would you like to talk about what's making you tense?"

Peter was about to say no, not trusting himself to humor this as real life. But he only slept for two hours last night and he was so tired and so scared.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, that's what I'm here for." Her words were soft and inviting but Peter didn't allow himself to believe it just yet.

"Can you tell me something only you and I would know?" He practically whispered the words to Jordan. Her face twisted together in thought.

"Peter, did you have another nightmare last night?" He ignored the question.

"Tell me something only you would know" he demanded this time. He was being harsh, and if this ended up being real he would feel guilty about it later. But right now he just needed the reassurance. It wasn't a fool proof method, not in the slightest, but he has officially become desperate.

"Okay, okay... so you told me during our first session that you're actually a decent cook. Your aunt isn't the best at it so after your uncle passed away, you started to teach yourself some recipes using an old cookbook, I think you mentioned Ben buying it from a thrift store."

He remembered sharing that with her. The recipe book was thrown out during the five year Blip period, and Peter was devastated when he couldn't find it this summer. No one else knew about the recipe book except for maybe May, but he doubts she remembers it after all of these years.

Peter took a deep breath and nodded, actually relaxing his body this time around. "Thanks."

Jordan looked him up and down with a questioning look in her eye. "Do you use that technique often?"

"No, not really. I mean I did in the beginning but it was starting to worry May so I stopped asking questions after a week or so."

"Well I want you to start using it again, at least temporarily. You need to trust the people around you if you want to get better, and that's a good way of opening yourself up to the possibility." Peter already knew he wasn't going to do that.

"How can I trust others when I can't even trust myself?"

Jordan hummed in consideration, which Peter appreciated. He liked her because no matter what was said, she never looked at him with concern or pity in her eyes. In all honesty, it was refreshing.

"I want to try something new, if that's alright?"

Peter rigorously nodded one too many times. (He so badly wanted to be fixed). "Sure."

"Can you tell me where you are? Feel free to give as much detail as possible."

"Oh... okay, well- I'm in the lake house, with you."

"What do you feel?"

"Um the couch, the floor, the throw pillow by my side."

"And what do you hear?"