Half of a Whole

Run Away With Me

NELOFER

Nelofer opened her wardrobe and put in the suitcase she had been preparing for months. It contained all the clothes, money, toiletries, makeup and documents she needed to run away. 

"Nelofer! Come downstairs!" her mother called from the kitchen downstairs.

"Give me a minute, Ammi!" she responded quickly covering the suitcase with a big towel and empty boxes of shoes.

She made her way to the kitchen to find her mother making breakfast.

"Nelofer, you're cooking lunch and dinner today. Don't argue" her mother glared at her the moment Nelofer opened her mouth to complain. She closed her mouth immediately. 

Her mother went back to moving the roti roller back and forth and making her perfect round rotis "Your father keeps blaming me for not raising you well. How can we send you to your in-laws's house without basic cooking skills? You'll make us die of shame."

"Ammi! It's the 21st century, girls don't have to serve their husbands on their knees and back, from morning till dawn. And you should teach me cooking as a survival skill for myself, not to feed some man you don't even know."

Her mother held up the roti roller and Nelofer immediately ran to the other side of the kitchen "Your sister leaned to cook when she was 10! Ten! That's why she's married to a doctor. Why can't you be more like Nayera? Ya Allah, I must've done something very wrong to end up with a daughter like you!" her mother said while chasing and trying to hit Nelofer.

"Ammi please! It's too early in the morning to get beaten up already! I'll cook! I'll do it, happy?" she said pleadingly. Nelofer just wanted to eat breakfast, her stomach was rumbling.

Her mother glared at her "Go change into salwar kameez. How many times do I have to tell you before you listen! You're a grown woman now, you need to stop wearing these T-shirts and sweatpants. Your father doesn't like it."

Nelofer's mood soured immediately, but she obeyed her mother. She didn't have a good relationship with her father. He had always favoured Nayera and Nadir, her older siblings. Her older sister, Nayera was her father's pride, joy, honour and precious jewel. Her sister was in her fourth year of medical school, married to a fellow doctor and living a beautiful life. Her older brother was a Hafez and a Muslim scholar, he managed the local mosque and everyone in the Muslim community knew him and respected him greatly. 

Nelofer was the black sheep of her family. From a young age she asked too many questions, was too curious for a girl and got herself in trouble constantly. Her grades in school were average and she didn't obey her parents very well either, according to them. She talked back too much, was too stubborn and opinionated, they said. Growing up, her parents beat her up more than her brother and sister combined. In a household with such strict parents, she had no choice but to grow up quickly and stand up for herself so she wouldn't lose herself. 

When she was 16 and went to Pakistan for her brother's wedding, her parents had gotten her engaged to a man she didn't know. She had been terrified then, never expecting something like an arranged marriage to happen to her. The reason why she wasn't married off then and there was because the dude was still in university and her father wanted him to graduate and inherit his father's business before any marriage contracts were signed. She guessed her father wanted to have another rich and successful son-in-Law to increase his reputation and 'honour' because he considered Nelofer a failure on her own.

Nelofer had said yes at 16 to the engagement out of pressure and fear. And because of that experience she had leaned to lie, learned to be cunning and learned to be selfish. She had no intention of marrying her fiancé. She had no intention of going back to Pakistan: she was afraid to even go anywhere near an airport ever again. 

Nelofer learned very quickly that she was the only person who could save herself, the only one responsible for her happiness and wellbeing.

Although she had dreamt of falling in love with a Prince Charming like every girl believing in princesses and fairytales as a child, she didn't want that anymore. She wasn't sure she could trust men anymore, not when her own father hurt her and betrayed her so easily.

She made lunch and dinner to please her mother, the only parent she cared about. She tried to listen to her mother's instructions and advices without arguing and complaining too much. Nelofer needed her mom's help to make lunch, but by dinner time she got the hang of it and felt like a pro. 

"Ammi! here" Nelofer held the spoon to her mother's lips. Her mother tasted the curry and nodded.

Nelofer threw her hands in the air and screamed in joy "Ammi, see? I'm a pro now, ready to open a Fusion Foods restaurant. Aren't you proud of me?" 

Her mother laughed at her silliness and shook her head "Pro, my foot: you only learned two dishes so far."

Nelofer's dad ate the food quietly without even commenting on the taste. Nelofer's mom told him all about Nelofer's cooking like a proud mama, but her dad only said "It was about time." Nelofer had expected more without realising and almost kicked herself for feeling disappointed. Since that arranged engagement, she couldn't look at him without feeling resentful and he had had enough of her rebellious behaviour to care. They were both unhappy with each other, but pretended everything was good to maintain peace.

Nelofer felt so sad as she fell asleep that night. Why didn't she have a loving family? One that cared about her happiness more than their reputation and honour? 

She didn't want to cry. She had to be strong if she was going to do all the things she planned. She had saved enough money from her part-time job as 'tutor', in the past two years, to help her ran away.

As she laid on her bed, Nelofer looked at her phone. The lockscreen image was her painting of herself and her sister. She loved drawing, painting, sketching, making comic book stories and art. She wanted to study Art after graduating high school, but her strict and prideful parents would never support it, she knew it. As it was, Nelofer was always hiding her art pieces from them because her father believed drawing was 'haram'.

She read a few chapters of her favourite comic on Webtoon before falling asleep. And she dreamt of a life where she was free to pursue her dreams, free to fall in love with a man she chose, free to live a long and happy life travelling the world. Tears fell down either side of her face while she slept because that dream would likely never come true.

..........................

Only two more days were left until she turned 18 years old. 

Nelofer found herself appreciating her parents for all their hardwork to raise her and her siblings. Her father had immigrated to the USA and worked really hard to achieve everything he had achieved. Her mother had done her best to raise Nelofer and her siblings to be good Muslims and decent humans. 

Nelofer went and hugged her mom for a long time. Nelofer's mom was dumbfounded because Nelofer wasn't affectionate very often.

Nelofer gave her mom flowers, chocolates and a new headscarf "Thank you for giving birth to me. Thank you for raising me. I'm sorry I was a brat growing up. But I promise I'll be a good adult. I promise I'll be a happy girl."

Her mom took the flowers and raised an eyebrow "Is it mother's day today?"

Nelofer laughed "No, it's not. But I'm gonna turn 18 soon and you're the one who made me, so I think you should receive gifts too."

Her mother's face lit up with a smile and her eyes turned glossy "You're really turning into an adult..."

..........................

Nelofer went to bed. She couldn't sleep. She kept thinking about how it was the last time she'd sleep in that bed. It made her feel too many confusing emotions. She felt overwhelmed and that kept her up.

Suddenly her phone vibrated and Nelofer answered the call "Hello?"

Her sister's voice filled her ear "Nelly...I need your help."