Half of a Whole

We're in this together

NELOFER

Nelofer was shocked to hear her sister on the other side of the phone. She hadn't heard from Nayera in over four months. They lived in different cities, 4 hours away from each other. She thought her sister was too busy with medical school and her husband to keep in touch, so suddenly hearing Nayera's voice made her so happy.

Nelofer couldn't help but tease her sister "Are you sure you're calling the right number? It's Nelofer here, not your hubby."

"Shut up. This isn't time for jokes" Nelofer could almost hear her sister rolling her eyes which made her snort.

"Nelofer...I messed up. I tried to kill myself yesterday because I can't live like this anymore." 

Nelofer sat up on her bed as her heart started beating very fast. Nelofer was still processing her sister's words when she heard her sobbing. Nelofer's heart wrenched for her sister.

"I don't understand Nayera. Is this a prank? Aren't you supposed to be the perfect girl I always get compared to?"

There was silence between them for a few seconds before Nayera confessed "That's why I wanted to die with that 'perfect girl' image intact. But I realised that I lived my whole life like a puppet instead of a human being...I want to live. I want to really live."

"Oh my god" Nelofer gritted her teeth, she was about to cry, so she took a deep breath "How can I help, big sis?"

"I'm running away: I've been in this abusive marriage far too long, all for mom and dad's reputation's sake. I need time to figure out what to do with myself. Can I drop my extra clothes, jewelleries and books at your place? I don't want to see ALI ever again" Nayera explained.

"Son of a rat! What!? He's abused you? Why haven't you ever said this before...Nayera!?" Nelofer was up from her bed, pacing her room furiously.

"Shh...don't, you'll wake up the whole house. Listen, I'll drop by tomorrow afternoon, we can talk then" Nayera said.

"Wait, Nayera! Actually...I'm running away too" Nelofer confessed and nervously waited her sister's response.

"Nelly, you need to work on your sense of humour. I really don't find your jokes funny."

"I'm not joking though! I've been preparing for months, ok? I'm finally 18 and can leave this house. I'm taking the early train tomorrow morning and going to the next State."

"But...why?" Nayera sounded confused.

"Because I'm not like you. I can't do an arranged marriage. I can't get into medical school, I don't want to. I want to be happy, I want to live my life on my terms. Mom and dad will never accept me being independent and unmarried so I'm running away" Nelofer took a deep breath, but that  guilt at the back of her head didn't dissipate. She felt bad for not giving her parents a chance to accept her terms and conditions, but she knew that telling that them would only make her suffer more of their psychological abuse, more of that emotional blackmail, more of that victim blaming and she was smarter than that.

"Nelly...I really wish I was half as mature as you are at 18. It would've saved me so much suffering. I'm so glad at least one of us knows what she wants. But I feel so bad though. Mom and dad are not bad parents. They really tried their best for us. They thought they were doing the right thing. They were doing everything out of love. They always had our best interest at heart. They just wanted to turn us into people everyone would be proud of. Nelly, I feel so bad..."

"Stop! Will you stop that? This is the mentality that got you where you are now. What's the point of being so perfect that everyone envies you, to only end up so miserable that you want to kill yourself? You know...that's what I'm most afraid of, that's my biggest fear. I wish you'd have told me sooner. I'm always there for you Nayera. Why did you go through this alone?" Nelofer was sobbing quietly thinking of how bad things must've gotten for her selfless sister to want to end it all.

"Let's run away together then. We'll have each other's back" Nayera said, sobbing along Nelofer.