never let me go

caving in

KALEO – Way Down We Go

"Father, tell me, do we get what we deserve?"

Draco could feel his walls crumbling. Once, he would have been terrified to let anyone this close, but when he was around Potter all those fears melted away and he felt like he could be himself. It certainly wasn't what he had expected going into this tentative friendship, but every now and then he would feel like he was happy again, and he wanted to cling to that feeling.

And so of course, when Draco was feeling like things might be slowly getting better, the universe had to remind him why that couldn't be allowed to happen.

He was headed toward the Great Hall for dinner, and he was a bit late so the corridors were mostly quiet. He rounded a corner and found that his path was blocked by two burly Slytherins who Draco thought must be seventh years. Not wanting any trouble, he turned to head back the other way when another boy stepped out from an alcove in the corridor behind him. He was cornered.

"Not going anywhere were you Malfoy?" the one behind him asked. He was the tallest of the three; the others were shorter than him but made up for it in what Draco hoped was just fat, not muscle.

"I was actually. If you'll step aside, I'll just be on my way –"

"Not so fast," said the one of the boys as he stopped Draco from stepping around him. He looked more closely at the three of them, focusing on the one who had spoken first. He thought he felt some recognition, and then it clicked.

"You're Snyde's kid."

"That's right," Snyde said with an ugly, lopsided grin. "You remember my father, do you? I thought he mustn't've been worth your time."

"Look, whatever happened to him, I'm sorry –"

"Whatever happened to him?" Snyde bellowed. "He was shipped off to Azkaban!"

"I'm sorry, but how is that my fault?"

"Doesn't matter, really." Snyde sniffed and took a casual step forward. Draco saw his wand shoot out of his sleeve and into his hand. "But you're a traitor to the Dark Lord, so you're as good as anyone else to blame for it."

Draco swallowed. "The Dark Lord is dead."

"But his legacy lives on," said one of the boys behind him. Draco didn't turn to see which one.

"We only want a little revenge for our imprisoned fathers," said Snyde. "And our fallen Lord."

A long time ago, Draco would've said something along the lines of 'My father will hear about this.' But he only had himself to rely on now, and really, even back then he had only ever counted on himself. So why should now be any different?

He slipped his wand out of his own sleeve, and immediately had to deflect a curse thrown at him by Snyde. He was forced to stay on the defence with the three of them surrounding him, but they got around his defences far too quickly. He was hit in the stomach with a hex that sent him flying against the wall, hitting his head. His vision burred, and just as he tried to raise his wand again one of the boys slammed his arm back against the wall. He dropped his wand, and then he was punched in the stomach right where the hex had hit him.

He caved forward, and then Snyde was in his ear saying something along on the lines of, "Till next time."

They dropped him, and he slid to the floor clutching his stomach. Dazed, he looked up to see they had disappeared. He hadn't even gotten the names of the other two. Not that he could report them. It was bad enough that every Slytherin as well as the general public hated him and his family. Calling out other Slytherins, and sons of Death Eaters no less, would only being him more trouble.

Draco rested his pounding head back against the cool concrete as he struggled to get his breath back, his stomach aching. He knew he had to get up before someone wandered down this hall and found him. He spotted his wand a few feet away, scooped it up and used the wall to push himself to his feet. It made his head pound harder for a second, but with every breath it lessoned slightly. He didn't want to even think about checking his stomach for a bruise, knowing it would be bad.

He considered skipping dinner and going straight to his dorm, but he had already skipped lunch earlier. And if the boys who had attacked him were there, then it would show them that it hadn't really affected him, right? He also knew that if he didn't show up for lunch or dinner, Potter would come looking for him for make sure he was doing okay. And he was fine.

He was fine.

He wasn't going to let his thoughts fall back into those dark places, wasn't going to let himself think he deserved it. Wasn't going to...

No. He steeled himself and continued on his way to the Great Hall. He wasn't going to let this stupid attack bring him back down when he had been doing so well the last few weeks. He hadn't even cut since the first night he arrived, and he didn't want to fall back into that habit just yet.

When he reached the Great Hall, he headed straight for the Slytherin table but gave it a quick sweep of his eyes as he walked over. No sign of those seventh years, but there was something else. One too many people were looking up at him as he passed. In fact, there were a lot of eyes following him from around the room. Surely they hadn't roughed up his face as well and he'd just been too dazed to remember, right?

No, he realised as he sat down, seeing that almost everyone had what looked like a Daily Prophet news bulletin in front of them. They weren't like the full papers that came in the morning, but rather smaller issues for breaking news.

Everyone in his vicinity stared at him as he sat down, and he had a sinking feeling that the bulletin was going to be another story slandering him and his family.

"What?" he snapped at a bug-eyed first year across from him. The boy flinched and passed his paper across to him. Draco snatched it and saw that the front page featured a full-size photo of his father behind the bars of Azkaban. His eyes looked crazed, and he was sneering at the camera before lunging at the bars with a snap of his teeth. Then he would retreat, and the moving picture would play again.

It took a long moment for Draco to tear his eyes away and finally look at the article. He skimmed through it, and he had been right about it slandering his family. Apparently, some older pureblood families had called for an appeal for Lucius, which had only given people an excuse to drag the Malfoy family name through the mud once again. Furthermore, the article had ridiculed his mother, saying that she was high on medication and should locked up like her husband. By the time he got to the bottom of the page, his hands were fists clutching the paper, but then he saw his own name. 'Draco Malfoy, ex-Death Eater himself, allowed to return to Hogwarts... utter scandal, endangering the lives of students...'

Draco couldn't read anymore. He looked up, and his gaze immediately met Potter's across the room. His eyes were so full of sorrow, and Draco couldn't take it. He stood up as quickly as he could and bolted.