the medic

ch. 8

viii. two glasses

Kelsey wasn't sure how much time had passed since she got into bed. She was in and out of sleep, waking up and sobbing herself back into an exhausted slumber. When she opened her eyes yet again, she could see the light had dimmed, and she glanced to her clock to see the time.

7 o'clock.

And almost as if right on cue, Bucky's shadow stood outside her tent's entrance. She groaned, skin raw and dark circles giving her the appearance of a walking corpse. Pushing herself out of bed, she stepped to the front flap, eyes barely open and squinting in the fading sunlight.

"Bucky... I can't today," She rubbed her eyes, her voice failing in any effort to seem okay.

"I'm not here to spar, Kelsey." When she finally took a real look at him, she was shocked to see a bottle of whiskey and two cups in his hand.

"Flo said you were a whiskey girl, luckily that's all I drink." He added with a soft smile and she felt her lip curl, another sob threatening to take hold.

She looked away from him, putting a hand over her mouth and stepping out of his way.

"Yeah, come in," And for the first time since the news, Kelsey smiled.

He stepped inside, choosing to take the seat in front of her desk and already setting up his pour while she went back to her cot, plopping down and wrapping her blanket around herself.

He handed her a cup almost immediately and she relished in the smooth burn it provided.

"I'm uh sorry for your loss." He spoke more cautiously than she expected and she nodded, curious about this side of the Sergeant.

"Does everyone know?" She sighed, hoping that there wouldn't be a base-wide eggshell walk around her.

"No. I actually had to do a little investigating to find out." His cheeks tinged pink and he threw an awkward hand to the back of his neck. "You uh.. always sit with Flo at dinner and you weren't there. And you're a member of my squad so I had to make sure you were alive. She said that the Colonel told the med staff that you had a death in the family.. and in my experience alcohol helps with that."

He went on to further explain and she found herself slightly chuckling, "Sarge do you... care for me?" She jokes and he rolled his eyes with a grin.

"Even when she's grieving she's sarcastic" He poured two more cups when the pair quickly finished their first.

Barnes inwardly found himself shocked, not used to girls keeping up with him in drinks. Then again, it wasn't like Kelsey could actually get drunk. It made her nostalgic though.

"Abe.. before I shipped out, we drank schnapps together. It's his thing, fucking Kraut-" She said, smiling to herself. "And he said- when I asked him what I'd do without him over here.. he said 'great things, Kelsey. Great things.' And I just since my dad... he's, well he was, one of the only people to believe in me. I don't want to let him down." The conversation was more with herself at this point, the girl even replicating his German accent.

Tears began to blur her vision, and she looked away, not wanting to break down in front of him. But as her mind swirled with memories of the old man, the dams open up yet again.

"I'm sorr-" Her apologizing was cut off when she felt a warmth grasping her shoulder, she looked back to see Bucky's eyes boring into her own.

"Kels, I came here to be a shoulder to cry on... let me do that," He spoke so simply and yet the sincerity still rang true.

So Kelsey did something she never thought she would do. He was now standing in front of her with his hand holding her shoulder, and she stood as well to quickly wrap her arms around his waist burying her face in his chest. She felt his arms snake around her as well, one cradling her head and the other around her back. Her tears stained his shirt but the sergeant couldn't bring himself to care, too focused on the girl in his arms.

"Why are you here?" Kelsey asked, her cheek still squished against his chest.

"What?-"

"You didn't start actually talking to me until recently... why are you here?" She heard his heartbeat raise, not noticing the heat warming his face.

He sighed and pulled away, placing both his hands on her shoulders. Blue eyes met her black and she found that she couldn't look away.

"Look.." He started and took another breath, "I owe you an apology. When you were first assigned to my squad, I only grasped what I could from your profile. You were some plucky scientist, not a soldier. So I went hard on you, real hard. At first it was cause I thought I could get rid of ya... but it didn't take long for me to realize that you were here to stay. I still wanted to keep everything up though, can't make it look like I'm going easy on ya cause you're a lady. The guys here... they'd rip ya apart if they thought that. You've honestly impressed me, Kels. But it was wrong of me to underestimate you from the start, so I am sorry."

She could see in his features that he held himself back from saying more, though she couldn't tell what exactly.

"You're an asshole, but not as bad as others have been in the past. Thank you for pushing me, I probably would not survive in the field without your help. Still an asshole, though." Kelsey shrugged with a lop-sided smile while he broke out laughing, pulling away from the girl and reaching to pour the two another glass.

"The other guys don't get to call me that and get away with it either so I guess I do give you a little special treatment." He handed one to her before sitting back down and she did the same.

"That's just because you know you're stuck with me." Kelsey offered with a wink and took a sip while Bucky looked down to the drink in his hand.

He kept his voice low, his grin fading as he stared into the amber liquid, "yeah... I guess something like that."